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Monday, May 18, 2026

Friending With A Boyfriend Vanisher

One of my good friends is a Boyfriend Vanisher, not that she makes boyfriends vanish but that she vanishes once she gets one. It has been a minute since she's had a serious boyfriend, so I'd forgotten she was a vanisher. However, at 40, I am here to announce that she is just as much one as she was when she was 18 when I met her. 

I'm happy that she is coupled but sad that she is still participating in her vanishing ways. As a serial single person that never had a boyfriend, I just assumed that being coupled was so consuming that you had no choice but to become distant. So, imagine my surprise when I started talking to guys and magically still had time and energy for the people I love; still had interests and other things to talk about. 

Calls from her these days are few and far between and quick. I answer the phone, she asks how I'm doing, I say find whether I am or not, then she proceeds to vomit info about her and her guy. She is in love, so I sit and listen and try to be supportive but sometimes I just want to yell, "There are other things going on!" Other things with her and me and the world. However, the world has gone down and I'm a bummer. I guess becoming obsessed with her relationship is the best bet.  

I hope that she and her guy stand the test of time, not just because she cares for him, but also because her breakups are worse that her relationships. Once she gets dumped or vice versa, I become a one-person jury member, staying on the phone for hours, helping her go over every point of their time together. It's exhausting and overwhelming but hey, what won't one do for a friend? Other than inquire more about her day before going into a diarrhetic speal about your relationship? 

I wanted to call her recently and discuss some pop culture stuff, but I'm mortified shat she will jump into "She and He: the Mini Series". Yikes. I guess her consistent babbling about her and her man is making me vanish. 


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