The Terrible 29s 7: Destitution Discomfort

Yesterday was a tramatic day. 

I had an allergic reaction to my lunch which was horrifying! I'd never had one before, and I found myself with burning lips, scratching at my neck. 

Luckily, one of my friends was able to bring me some medicine or I would have had to go to the ER. My uninsured friends know how hellacious that is. Naturally, I invited her upstairs to my room to hang out and she was like, "It's hot in here!" And I explained to her that I NEVER turn on my air conditioning, relying solely on Dollar Store box fans. The last time I turned on my air for an hour I was charged like $300. And then she gave me a look. 

I'd made that look only once before myself when a man I was dating told me he didn't think that Storm was worthy of being an X-Man. It's a look of confusion, shock, and awe. What really hurt me was the hint of disgust in her face which read, "Bitch, what are you a peasant?! How broke are you really?! I could never live like this!"

I have reached a new level of broke: the stage where you are snubbed by life long friends! I am so broke I am actually making folks uncomfortable!

She stayed in my room all of five minutes and then ran out of here so fast there were sparks flying off her custom edition Nikes. It was like she was afraid that the humbleness of my apartment was going to grab her by the ankles and pull her through the carpet into a lower income bracket. 

I would tell her she hurt me, but why? It is hot in my apartment and I do wish I could turn on my air. It is what it is. #brokegirlproblems

The Terrible 29s 1: Dislike Button

The other day, I was on Facebook and I was visually assaulted by wedding photos from a college classmate’s nuptials. This automatically brought a frown to my face. She was a sleaze in college! How did she land a tall, dark, employed man with dimples who, and I am just assuming, loves the Lord? He obviously doesn’t know anyone we did, because if there sense of loyalty to the human race was as strong as mine, they would have pulled him aside and told him to think again. She looked positively beautiful in her dress. Grunt. Moan. Looking at my happy friend feed her man cake in one of the photos I thought to myself, “Man, I wish there was a dislike button.”

Do I sound like a hater? Maybe. Now ask me if I care.  I have never enjoyed feeling left behind, and ever since I turned 29, my social media feeds have been taken over by images of old friends jumping the broom. I feel like everyone RSVPed for a party that I was not invited to and it is starting to get under my skin! All this time I thought that your 20s were off limits for such romantic commitments. Isn’t this the time that we are all supposed to be working towards getting our financial and career ish together so that we can one day, not today, get married to someone? Apparently I got my dates wrong, because every girl I know, from genius to reformed ho, is posting either a wedding pic or a picture of their engagement ring, on a well-manicured hand of course.

Do I want to get married? I’m not sure. I do know that I don’t want to wake up at 40 and be the last woman standing, equipped with my degree, my own home, and a 50% off sign plastered across my face. And I have heard all of the annoying Think Like a Man-esque advice for singles out there. Be the one before you find the one. Like attracts like. Wear skirts.  Bake your self-respect at 350 degrees for 20 minutes, I get it! Put positive energy into the air and wish upon a star and congratulate those who are where you want to be. Watch me smile and roll my eyes at the same time. I guess I will comment on my friend’s amazing professional wedding photos, all the while wishing there was a dislike button.