Level 0

My girl Roma was updating me about her life, and she said that she talks to our mutual friend, Jamaica, on a regular basis. This made my eyebrow raise, seeing that I am hard pressed to get Jamaica on the phone, and further satisfied a suspicion that I had that she has been avoiding me.
I think it best that I remind you all, before I go on, that I have a habit of taking clues that may not exist to solve issues that aren't real. I make things up in my head and run with them, especially in regards to my friends, because I am insecure, especially when it comes to my friendships. I know, I know, it's not an attractive quality.
One of my insecurities stems from not being where I want to be financially in life. Friends like Roma and Jamaica are stacking paper over my head by leaps and bounds. When I heard that Roma and Jamaica were in touch, I assumed that this is why. As silly as it may sound, you get hip to the way that people view you, for real, when you are broke, especially as broke as me.
People do not take brokeness well. They treat it sort of like a deadly flu they can catch from something as small as just hearing about your financial issues. There are also sub-issues that travel with brokeness, such as sadness, depression, anger, and self-pity. Low and behold, I suffer from ALL of these illnesses! Understandably, this makes me self-conscious, especially when interacting with my richy rich friends.
If you have lived a somewhat full life with females as friends, you should know by now that there are levels to friendships. I fear that for some, including Jamaica, that know what I have been through, I have plummeted to level 0. And I get it, like attracts like. I have always said that if I ever lose weight that I will dump my old, supportive friends that love me for superficial ones.
I digress.
As my friend talked, I used my Ghost Writer skills to put together a quick case. There could be a number of reasons that I have not heard from Jamaica. She has a high-pressure job; she could be busy. She has just moved; she may be tired. This made me feel better until I remembered that Roma had just told me that she and Jamaica talk all the time.
Before you ask yes, I am aware of how childish this is. There is no real proof, other than my emotions, that any of this is real. But to be honest, I have been waiting on Jamaica to friend dump me for some time. Brokeness is also the trigger for strife and negativeness. These are things that I suffer from that we ALL know are contagious.
As Roma spoke, I kicked myself for being so needy and emo. But, as needy and as emo as I often am, I am also often right. Call me psychic.

No Mas Milk

I saw a documentary the other night that was so good that I feel like I have to share. I was on Link TV, an independent news station, and the doc itself was called The Corporation.
Now, I don't think that this doc is new, but I learned a lot about what exactly a corporation is and how, because of this definition, they get away with a lot of stuff.
The doc touched on everything from sweatshop labor to the deadly effects of chemicals and yes, even milk.
As I sit here at the Borders in the mall this morning, I shake my head, licking the whipped cream off of the straw that was in my chocolate coffee thingy. I have to say, I have never been one to drink milk straight, but I LOVE dairy products. Yogurt, ice cream, butter, and please, don't mention cheese. If you cut open one of my arteries, you would probably find a block of Kraft American! But, thanks to me becoming informed, I have to say no mas to milk.
Basically, farmers were putting this drug in cows that was supposed to speed up milk production when they WEREN'T supposed to. They were even going on the record saying they weren't...when they were. Anyway, this drug (and forgive me for not remembering the name) causes horrible pain for the cows, and causes their milking thingies to swell and get infected. Thus, when the farmers milk the cows, puss leaks out with the milk, thus there is probably puss in your milk and in your dairy products.
The effects on humans isn't cool. Amongst other things, this drug in the milk makes it so your body doesn't respond to the medications usually prescribed to fight staph infections, creating a med-resistant staph, causing deaths.
Sigh. Very rarely do I see docs that change my mind about anything, but this one did the job, especially when they showed the cow's super swollen nether regions. So when you get a chance, watch it for yourself. There are tons of professional sources, such as Michael Moore and Naomi Klein.
As I lick this cream cheese off my plastic knife, I feel emotional. My love affair with dairy, although sweet and long-lasting, must come to an end.

Too Old For This

Today my Aunt told me I need to get back in the gym because my hips almost knocked over an empty Quicktrip cup in her car. Let me tell you a little story: I am so tired of people telling me what I need to do. I am not a baby. I am not a child. Dare I say, I don't need to do anything other than what my grown self wants to do. Capiche? Man, if only I was as thin as my patience.