The Worst Block Spin Ever

One of my good girlfriends from high school casually told me during our last conversation that she is currently seeing her old boyfriend from back in the day, when things were NOT cool. He used to hit her, and I was beyond joyous when she finally dropped him. To hear that, after over 20 years, they are dating again made me so sick that I literally almost threw up. I thought that this guy was effectively exercised from her life years ago, only to find out that they have always kind of kept in touch. Now, he has somehow slithered his way back into the picture, and I am not excited about it at. all. I don't like him. 

"You don't know him," she said when I told her as much.  "You only know the him that I told you about. We were kids, and I did a lot of bad stuff too."

She then began to discuss his journey to healing and manhood and how he is so cool, calm, and collected now. He was abusive because that is what he saw growing up. After years of therapy, he now knows how to communicate. They have even already had their first argument, and no one got slapped. He is not the same guy that he was when he was a "kid". 

It was hard for me to not scream! Part of the reason why this whole thing sounds outrageous to me is because I guess I don't believe that people can fully change. The base of who you are is what it is going to be as soon as you get here. All other changes are surface-level, according to me. So when she tells me that this guy has changed, I not only can't believe it, I don't believe that it is legitimately possible, but she does. Also, I know that they say that by middle age, you have probably dated or met your forever person already. And that's fine if that's true, but could the universe make sure that the block spin doesn't stop at the doorstep of someone who caused you dramatic trauma and pain? I'm also annoyed with myself because I am supposed to believe that all change is possible through Christ Jesus. Watch me give myself the side eye 😒 Years of watching Lifetime movies has shown me otherwise. 

We pretty much agreed to disagree on whether or not this is a good idea, and I let her know as calmly and diplomatically as possible that I am not here for this but I am here for her. Men are in the news straight up unaliving their partners.  This is serious! Serious and unreal. 

Violence Against Women

Is it just me, or has anyone noticed how it has become OK to be violent towards women?
I mean, hitting girls, I'm sure, has been a practice since the beginning of time. But it was clear that it was socially unacceptable. Now I feel like, when a woman gets hit, the first question is, "What did she do?" What can you do?!
I was always told by my Mama that it was never OK for a man to hit me. Hence my surprise when she took Chris Brown's side after he straight up WHOOPED Rihanna's ass! The radio airwaves were full of people just sayin' crazy stuff like, "Well...island women are crazy...she did something to make him go off...she should have left him alone...I heard she gave him HERPES!" Everyone seemed to feel sorry for Chris and the victim, the woman, became the villain.
And don't turn on your TV. Every show from SVU to CSI to NCIS features a woman weekly that has been raped, brutalized, and murdered in the worst way possible. And as the case is being solved, it is usually revealed that the victim was a secret prostitute, drug dealer, or con artist, making her attack or murder justified.
But we can also look at verbal or behavioral disrespect. That has become OK too. I followed the whole Tiger Woods fiasco with my mom. As you know, his ex-wife got a HUGE settlement. Anywho, my mom hinted that she felt she was undeserving because she used to be a nanny or something. Um, he cheated on her, admittedly, over 200 times, putting her life in danger! And at some point it went from his infidelity to her being a gold digger from the jump, wanting his money, thus excusing his actions!
Sorry if it seems like I am preaching. I kind of am. I can't put it any simpler than that as a girl, I don't enjoy being dumped on or watching a fellow sister (regardless of race) being dumped on either. But I feel it will only get worst, for somewhere along the line, dumping on women has become a pass time.
That is all.