World AIDS Day

Remember, tomorrow is World AIDS Day, so take advantage of this and find a local program doing free testing in your neighborhood. I plan on doing so thru AID Atlanta. Watch the AID Atlanta staff talk about why World AIDS Day is so important.

Brownie and the Will

So just now Brownie texted me a series of texts, wanting to know how I did my will. I just wrote one. Bigger question, why does he need to know? I hope he's not dying or sick or something. He is one of my best friends. I would really be horrible if he croaked.

The Cleansing

I have been in a mood lately where I want to clean things. I think that this is because my life just feels like a complete mess, and the only thing that I can clear up in it at this point is my bathroom and the food containers in my room. I just feel heavy, you know? Weighted down. And last night it crossed my mind that the ultimate clean up high would be my phone.
I have blogged about this before. It is impossible for me to get rid of numbers! I was looking through my phone today and saw names that I don't know anymore- numbers from folks who were in my college study groups. They have to go. But upon sitting here silently and reflecting to a Janelle Monae soundtrack, it dawned on me why I just can't delete: I will have to come to terms with being alone.
If I erase all the nobody numbers in my phone, I will only have like 20 numbers left, as opposed to 250. And yes, that 20 will be the people I love, but still. They are all busy and working and in school and being progressive- I kind of like holding on to my fantasy that 250 people I can't remember give a shit about me.
And yes, I know that this is unhealthy. These imaginary friends have to go. I just don't know if it will help me feel lighter or just more alone. That is left to be seen, but it's gotta be done. I will keep you posted.

Today

Today I am feeling weird. I had a good sleep, but I feel a little sad. A little melancholy. I feel like I miss somebody, but I don't know who or why or what. I am a little disappointed in some of my recent decisions regarding my personal life, and simply beside my self due to what is my non-progressing career. Goal of the week: forgive myself for some of my un-pure thoughts and take active steps to not put myself in questionable situations; start taking more progressive steps to get where I want to be and stop allowing minor set backs to send me into a whirlwind depression. Not everything is going to go my way. Gotta keep my eyes on the prize. I feel like during the week, I am going to have to read this post more than once.

'Lique, K.T.'s newly lesbian lesbian girlfriend's advice on oral hygene

'Lique on steps pre-falacio: "Wash it. They'll love it. It's like washing a piece a fruit. You wouldn't put a piece of fruit in your mouth without washing it first."

Faux Pas

Ok, so the other day Faux Mega came over.
It has taken me a minute to blog about it because I really don't know what to say...or how I want to say it...
Look, I know that I said a while back that I was disconnecting...erasing his number and such. And I did...but I saved this text he sent me, extracted his number, and saved it again. PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME! Any way, he is the hottest dude I have ever dealt with, and I have been dying to get him back to my house. And not for a replay of the last visit, oddly enough, but to have a nice, G-Rated visit where we talked and got to know each other and all that sweet girly stuff.
Sigh.
Let me just say that I am a dumb ass.
He sent me two texts and after those two text, sent before he arrived at my door, I was still thinking that he really may want to get to know me and be my friend.
Text 1(sent after I said he could come over): Cool...u think you ready for this d*&k?
Text 2 (sent when he was in route): Hey! Just leavin...u ready to swallow this stick? Lol
Then, once he got here, he watched some sort of football thingy on his laptop and ate chicken from Popeyes, not offering to share! But all was forgiven because, in my room, was this gorgeous, chocolaty man!
The nails in the coffin? Well, I talked to him about his sexual history which, to say the least, is extensive. EXTENSIVE! When we first met, he told me he had a steady girlfriend in college. I found out on this latest visit that this was true...until she dumped him for religiously cheating on her!
But hey, the past is the past. I was willing to roll with it still, until he told me that he religiously has sex with the mothers of the little boys that he coaches on the peewee football team he volunteers with...WHAT?!
And yet still, that was OK, until he told me that he was quite serious about the texts he sent. This was bad because I have no intentions of blowing anyone...especially a guy who volunteers with at-risk youth just to do their moms! I felt like that was so trife, even though he is FINE!
So we didn't do anything, and he left here in what seemed to be annoyance.
Just to keep my last teaspoon of dignity, I am not going to tell you what I texted him when he left. But I will tell you that I cried the next morning because I felt stupid and was sad that what he wanted was all he wanted from me. I felt stupid for not getting the hint, when it was so clear, and for not telling him that I am a virgin. Maybe if I would have, he wouldn't have been so gross, but who knows if that is true or not.
Will I see him again? Probably not. And even after the clear disrespect and embarrassment, all I can say is that he is FINE!
Sigh.