The other day I was at home, munching on junk and feeling sorry for myself, as I talked to an undersexed homeboy who also had nothing better to do with his day. I was trying to snack my way out of a slight depression stemming from the fact that I had gotten too fat to fit into my bday dresses. I know, this makes no sense.
So we were looking on Myspace and he directed me to look at his friend Elaina's page. She went to Xavier, but I did not know her personally. I did know that she was a cheerleader that dressed really cute and loves to update her statuses on Facebook. I was scrolling down the page, nibbling on nibbles and skimming over some blurbs when there I saw it: a full length picture.
But not just any full page picture. The mother of full length pictures. She had on like this short sweater dress and a pair of heels that accented her long, brown, flawless legs and tight ass.
I felt hurt.
Not hurt like pain hurt but hurt like I used to feel when I watched Moesha and understood that I would never be able to afford any of the clothes she wore. Hurt like I felt when the Spice Girls broke up. Hurt like I felt when they canceled "My So-Called Life." Why? Because this is what I am competing with, fat or potentially skinny- the Elaina's of the world who are gorgeous and will maintain their gorgeous-ness well into their old age. I just felt hopeless.
So I logged out of Myspace and moped on my bedroom floor. But I will say this: once I finished my family bag of chips I made my way to the gym.
1 comment:
I know it wasn't the point of your entry - which was really quite poignant, btw - but the cancellation of 'My So-Called Life' ranks up there as a huge disappointment in my existence, too.
ahem.
Carry on.
Post a Comment