The Daddy List

Any one who knows me knows that I am not really down with the idea of a man being in the household when I have a kid. Call it being the product of a single-parent home with the in and out mommy boyfriend, but I find the whole "daddy figure" to be mean, rude, cruel, annoying, bossy, and generally un-needed when it comes to rearing a child. He'll just expose the baby to maucho bullhoodle and it will take society years to pluck it off. Nevertheless, there are a few qualities that I am looking for in my potential sperm doner.

• Black
• Tall
• Handsome
• Educated
• Well-spoken
• Good dancer
• Nice teeth
• No history of male pattern baldness
• Average Weight

If you know this man, please send him my way. Must get this baby making business off the ground.