34

I once went to a dinner party where one of the guests stood up and showed me her vajayjay. She had been talking about how she got Brazilian waxes. This being years ago, I had never heard of a Brazilian wax. So she stood up, lifted her skirt, and showed me her bare snatch in front of everyone. That was nowhere near as awkward as the idea of spending another year of my life doing the same old same old.
How am I feeling? I feel like I want to be emersed in hot water and emerge with a life, job, money, and a man worthy of a  34-year-old woman. I have been told that fear and doubt are lifelong obstacles, but my obstacles have been hanging around for a bit too long. I have got to shake these and at least make rooms for some new ones.
And yes, I have been feeling this way for a while. You may be wondering what everyone else in my life is wondering: what will make next year different than the horrors of years passed? As tired and depressed and downtrodden that I am and have been, I have to make this year a year of action. And not because I can't wait to hit the ground running, but because I have seen what happens when you sit on your ass and cry for years and I have to tell you all, it's not pretty.
To show you how serious I am about 34, I am already getting ready for the new me, a whopping two months in advance. And this is serious. I could be using this two months to enjoy the last bit of time I can dedicate to my destitution and deep unhappiness but no, I am making moves baby! And last week, I made the biggest move yet: I bought a new journal. All the lady bosses who claim that they have it all together have all said journaling your goals and dreams is the easiest, quickest way to get your life off the ground. It's pink, sparkly, and has some type of positive saying on the front. It has good juju and I am excited to see what good luck it brings me.
But for now, I am going to watch E! TV in my nightgown and silk bonnet while drinking hot tea out of a plastic bowl...braless. I know. Awkward.