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Thursday, November 9, 2023

Homecoming Post 7: Tailgate Uncut

Do you all remember BET Uncut? That show that would come on late nights on BET that would show all the nasty, sexual music videos? Upon arriving at the tailgate, I swear to you, I thought that the whole thing may have been sponsored by BET Uncut! For those of you who have not been back to XU for the tailgate, let me prepare you: Norman C. Frances is gone, the nuns are dead, and these young XU undergrad girls have lost their minds! Last year, I was told that I was sounding like a disgruntled aunty because I was complaining about the turbo weaves, paste on edges, and wack-a-diddy false eyelashes. But this year- I could not believe my eyes! 

Okay, so I know that the girls dressed risqué when I was a student. But this new class of girls puts those old short-shorts and tight tops to shame. My aunt and I sat on the wall beside the tailgate people watching, and I am not even going to tell you how many whole, bare asses we saw. It was an asstastic mess! Remember back in the day, underboob was all the rage? I am not kidding when I say that these girls had their entire behinds exposed. If one of my Xavier brothers would have seen my whole butt as a kid in college, I would have died on the spot! Purple Reign sat beside me for a spell, watching the butt brigade go by. I told him if the girls would have been like this when we were in school, his penis would have exploded. He agreed. 

So apparently, a trend now is wearing tennis skirts that hike up in the back and show your behind. That might not have been so bad if any of the girls partaking in this trend would have bothered to put on underwear! Skintight leather shorts are also a look, but the look is only done correctly if your butt gobbles up the shorts almost entirely. The Gen Z girls love their thigh high cowboy boots which I must admit, were cute. However, hours twerking on concrete at the tailgate left many of the ladies hobbling out of the tents like they had just had a long night at the strip club. Purple Reign introduced me to a current professor at the school who said he was scared to go into the tents out of fear of seeing one of his students half naked! 

And it's not just the sweet petites showing their literal asses. I saw a lot of back fat and thigh dimples out there. I honestly can't tell if these girls have high self-esteem or have completely lost touch with reality. What I can say is that if I went to XU now, I'd be the belle of the ball! 

Brandon had a different perspective. He felt that that girls were only dressed this way to sell sex or to catch an old sugar daddy. I thought he was being ridiculous. Yes, the girls looked trashy, but these are also the doctors and pharmacists of the next generation! But sadly guys, he may have been right. Whenever I saw a fresh, young bottom twisting by, there was an elderly, thirsty Xavier man not too far behind it. 

Why am I telling you all of this? I guess I am a little bit of a disgruntled aunty. I want the young ladies to know that they are more than their bodies. At the very least, I want you to know what to pack if you come next year. 

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