Loneliness Loves Company

Sickles called me again on "mistake". I was at home working on a script when I got another phantom Duo call. I answered it and it was him. He told me that he hadn't meant to call me. "Awkward," he said, shaking his head into the camera. Yeah, it was a little awkward. But only because the last time he called me on "mistake" he was jacking off into his phone camera.
I hung up the phone but was unable to shake the sight of him. He looked tired and a little older. He also looked burdened  and sad. Against my better judgement, I called him back.

"Are you okay?" I ask him. 

He was walking around his apartment, aimlessly. "Yeah. Why?"

"I don't know. You look a little sad." 

"Oh naw, that's only because I just got through smoking weed."

"Oh." I'm not a smoker. Do people typically look sad after they smoke?

"Do you feel okay?" I inquire. 

"Yes," he answers. 

"Have you been praying?" I question. 

Yes," he responds. 

He then switches up the convo. "You look pretty."

I identify this immediately as BS. My face is fatter than the last time he saw me, and I was wearing my sleep bonnet. 

"I have my bonnet on Sickles," I respond. 

"Yeah, but it looks like you are ready to take it off and let your hair down." You see, Sickles has always been a huge fan of my fro. 

It was then that I wished him well and cut the conversation short. I'm lonely. He is obviously lonely, and loneliness LOVES company. Especially this time of year when it is cold outside and everyone is boo'ed up. But I'm too old for cuff games and situationships that are going to go nowhere. I have to be more intentional and not fall in to talking to someone because they are interested and I am available. This could mean that I am alone and lonely for a long time. I have to believe that there is something better for me out there. There better be! I'm wasting perfectly good cuff time wishing for something real. 

Fall Faves!

My favorite thing about a season change is switching out my warm weather products for my cold weather products. I admittedly don't know if this is a real thing that women everywhere do, but I do it. And being the weirdo that I am, I REALLY look forward to it, lol. These are my favorite winter products.

The Zoya Party Girls colors are fabulous for fall and winter. The collection has it all: darks, warm colors, a cool blue, and metalics. The shades are ideal for any look you are looking to create for the holidays. Just so you know, that gold color on the end, Nadia, is me all day long come Christmas.

Zoya Party Girl Colors, $10 each

I have essentially been using the same soap since I was in high school. Many soaps dry out my skin are cause me to itch. But this Treets Traditions Revitalizing Ceremonies Foaming Shower Gel is light and nourishing and smells like magic! It's my new favorite shower treat.

Treets Traditions Revitalizing Ceremonies Foaming Shower Gel, $15

I know that there are many of you out there that say that using a hand sanitizer doesn't keep you from getting sick, but believe me when I say that I keep this Everyone Hand Sanitizer Gel with me at all times. People get sick and yucky in the winter and me and hand sanitizer are fighting the good fight against getting ill this season.

Everyone Hand Sanitizer, $5.82

Signs of an Early Cuff

Bells screenshot me a pic of a text conversation she'd had with Troy, a man that she hadn't talked to in five years. He was very clear and eloquent in his request for no-strings-attached sex. She angrily text-replied no. He politely as was all like, "Thank you for your time." Understandably, Bells was upset.
 "Can you believe this guy?" she demanded.
I laughed to myself. I'm 32, not 22. Nothing these dudes can say or do can surprise me anymore.
"What does he think this is?!" she wanted to know. "He just wants something for nothing."
Yeah he does. Unintentionally, I looked at the corner of my computer screen and saw the date. It's Aug. 9. Sickles texted me just the other day. Summer is officially over on September 22. I did some quick math on my fingers and toes and concluded this: cuffing season must be coming early this year.
Yes, cuffing season. That special time of year when the lonely are in a mad dash to find someone to roast chestnuts with. Three cuffing seasons ago, I was really feeling myself. Men were asking me for my number left and right. I was doing a two-step down the street, thinking that men must have been taking notice of how much better my hair looked since I made the switch from leave-in conditioner to coconut oil. NOT! Someone hipped me to the cuffing game. Now I make a mental note of it as the first leaves fall in Autumn.
I guess that everyone's summer loves are ending early, because the smart guys are reaching out early, trying to get things in order before it is even time to put on long-sleeve shirts. They know what Bells and I learned late: cuffing season is real.
Back when I was a college student, sitting in my dorm room crying and journaling, wishing my male peers would notice me, I wished that someone, anyone, would share with me the secret to finding a companion. If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to shower and stand outside the men's dorm during homecoming and see what happens. Because there is a secret that only those of us women who are really aware know: you may be a lonely lady, but NO ONE hates being lonely more than a man. While we are at home, crying on tear-stained sheets, they are madly searching the streets, looking for ANYTHING to snuggle up to. Be in the right place at the right time and you may find yourself this fall with a decent, all be it temporary, man. This is why women with good sense don't even bother.
But be warned. The pre-cuff is here, alive, and well. Your ex will text you. Your ex ex will call. You randomly run into your ex ex ex at the grocery store when you know he doesn't cook. Don't be alarmed. It's the season for such events.
For more info, click here.

Estée Lauder and Victoria Beckham Launch Makeup Collection for Fall 2016

Victoria Beckham has been wowing us with her personal style and clothing line for years now. So many of us in the beauty industry were ecstatic to hear about her upcoming collaboration with cosmetic powerhouse Estée Lauder. Come September of this year, we will be able to carry a little bit of Victoria in our cosmetic bags, with the products being available for purchase both at esteelauder.com and victoriabeckham.com. 

“I am thrilled to be launching this limited edition makeup collection with Estée Lauder,” said Victoria Beckham. “The whole process has been both inspiring and eye opening - from going back and revisiting the Estée Lauder archives to working on the product with the Estée team, this feels like the perfect makeup partnership for me and my brand. I had long admired Estée Lauder the woman, and the powerful brand that she created, so I am excited to offer both of our customers this makeup range and play a small part in her vision for women.”

One can only imagine how posh this limited edition collection is going to be. 

My Fall Faves from Lane Bryant

Lane Bryant is known for its amazing, plus-size pieces, but out of everything in their collections each season, I always look forward to seeing their dresses. Not only are they always on trend and fit to look great on all body types, but they also come in enough styles and colors to fit the taste of all curvy fashionistas. Here are my favorite, new dress from Lane Bryant.   

 

(from left to right)

 



Textured Faux Leather Inset Dress, $89.95
Animal Pleated Inset Shift Dress, $79.95
Simply Chic Matte Jersey Bias Stripe Dress, $89.95
Animal Print Dress with Hardware, $79.95
Sugar and Spice Dress by Kiyonna, $110
Cut-Out Bodycon Dress, $89.95

 

Visit LaneBryant.com for even more dresses. 

Preview: OCC Fall Collection

Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics is back with its Fall/Winter Collection: Unknown Pleasures.

The collection includes six new lip tars: Lament, Covet, Manhunter, Pagan, Technopagan, and Vain, $18 each,

along with six Nail Lacquers: Dangerous, Covet, Poison, Distortion, Pagan, and Technopagan, $10 each.

Not to be overlooked are their Cosmetic Colour Pencils in Sebastian and Lydia, two fun shade of purple, $16 each.

 You can purchase the collection now at Sephora.com and OCCMakeup.com and at OCC flagship boutique on 9/19  

The Knee Nightmare

I write to you this morning after what very well may have the been the worst sleep of my life!
Yesterday morning, after innocently aiding my sister in opening a can of ravioli, I slid on a dustpan that someone left in the middle of the floor, thus landing super hard on my right knee. I mean, super hard.
If there was ever a time that I really think I needed a doctor, it was then. I tried to get up, and ended up back on the floor. And as my useless siblings watched me wallow in pain, I did my best not to scream. The next pain that I feel like this will probably be childbirth. Lying on the kitchen floor, I prayed not to get Arthritis from this. My grandma had it and she would cry, rubbing her hip, every time it rained. I had an old P.E. teacher who had to get a knee replacement, and it made her leg fatter than the other one. My aunt had knee surgery when I was in undergrad, and she is just now walking without a limp.
My knee is soooo stiff. I can't bend it. I literally had to stop, drop, and roll to get to the bathroom as Betsy, what I have now named my knee, snapped, crackled, and popped the whole way there. I'm fat, so I can't tell if my knee is swollen, but it hurts like Hell. Like. Hell.
So about my sleep: it sucked. I didn't know what a big part being able to bend your knee played in a good night's rest. A half-baked fetal position and sitting up, those are the only two positions I could muster. I cried, I prayed, I whaled. I wished I had a Midol or some crack or a gun, anything to ease the misery. Finally, God had mercy on me and Betsy, and blessed me with 46 straight minutes or rest, a record for the night.
Here is something you may or may not know about me: I hate being hurt and I hate being sick. I have true disdain for anything that prevents me from doing things at the speed I would usually do them. Last night, it took my brother 20 minutes to prepare me a bag of ice for Betsy. It would have taken me 3!
As I type this post, groggy and annoyed, I try not to resent my siblings for not helping me and for leaving shit just lying around. I have to stop myself from hoping one of them falls. Uh-oh, negative thoughts. Time to turn to my gospel playlist.