Loneliness Loves Company

Sickles called me again on "mistake". I was at home working on a script when I got another phantom Duo call. I answered it and it was him. He told me that he hadn't meant to call me. "Awkward," he said, shaking his head into the camera. Yeah, it was a little awkward. But only because the last time he called me on "mistake" he was jacking off into his phone camera.
I hung up the phone but was unable to shake the sight of him. He looked tired and a little older. He also looked burdened  and sad. Against my better judgement, I called him back.

"Are you okay?" I ask him. 

He was walking around his apartment, aimlessly. "Yeah. Why?"

"I don't know. You look a little sad." 

"Oh naw, that's only because I just got through smoking weed."

"Oh." I'm not a smoker. Do people typically look sad after they smoke?

"Do you feel okay?" I inquire. 

"Yes," he answers. 

"Have you been praying?" I question. 

Yes," he responds. 

He then switches up the convo. "You look pretty."

I identify this immediately as BS. My face is fatter than the last time he saw me, and I was wearing my sleep bonnet. 

"I have my bonnet on Sickles," I respond. 

"Yeah, but it looks like you are ready to take it off and let your hair down." You see, Sickles has always been a huge fan of my fro. 

It was then that I wished him well and cut the conversation short. I'm lonely. He is obviously lonely, and loneliness LOVES company. Especially this time of year when it is cold outside and everyone is boo'ed up. But I'm too old for cuff games and situationships that are going to go nowhere. I have to be more intentional and not fall in to talking to someone because they are interested and I am available. This could mean that I am alone and lonely for a long time. I have to believe that there is something better for me out there. There better be! I'm wasting perfectly good cuff time wishing for something real. 

Birdman Love- The Story of Tatted Face

This cuffing season has been dry as a bone for your girl Holls.
Like an idiot, I erased the numbers of all my old, unlovable losers, so I have had no options. This was liberating at first, now I am kind of seeing this as the biggest mistake of my winter. I know it was what was best, but I'm cold and lonely. Can a sister get a text?!
I haven't even heard from Sickles. Old dependable Sickles. He has missed his quarterly text to me, which leads me to believe that he has a real girlfriend or is in jail. Both have been the case in the past.
An old man told me I was beautiful at the customer service counter at the grocery store, and he was a cute old guy who could still walk, so I would have totally given him my number, but I was turned off by the number of lottery tickets he was purchasing.
Only one guy has tried to talk to me this winter, and I have seen him twice, which may be a sign that he is the love of my life. The first time I saw him was at Wal-Mart. I accidentally looked in his direction while trying to navigate my cart around a potato chip display. I swerved into the snack aisle and bent down to get a box of Little Debbie cakes. When I looked up, he was right beside me, smiling. And his teeth were actually pretty nice for a man that had tattooed the whole left side of his face.
"Hey Ms. Lady," he said in the sweet, deep, southern drawl of a Georgia boy who has just finished smoking a blunt.
"Hello," I said, completely enthralled by the numerous symbols tattoed on his face. There was a heart and a knife and a dollar sign and a whole bunch of other stuff. I walked with him long enough to find out that he had tatted the tattoos on his face himself. He wants to be a tattoo artist and needed the practice. That's when I lied, told him I had a boyfriend, and made my exit.
Not long after the elderly man called me pretty at the grocery store, I ran into Tatted Face in the lunch meat section. I told him he looked familiar, and he said, "Yeah, we met a Wal-Mart."
"Oh yeah," I said, hightailing it out of there. I could feel him staring at me all the way to the dry bean aisle. There were even more tats on his face than last time, but all still on the same side.
Now I am wondering if I was being silly. I just had a conversation with Tortilla about dropping her standards now that she is 30, and I here I am running from men just because their face is tatted. Tatted Face may be my future.This Valentine's Day, I could be out and about with Tatted Face instead of at home with my brother watching reruns of iCarly, which, by the way, is a HILARIOUS show! I mean, Toni Braxton is dating Birdman. If a scary tat face is good enough for an R&B superstar, it should be enough for me.
I am due for another Wal-Mart run. I will let you know if I run into him again. Fingers crossed, I want to be married by 35.