Taking A Knee

By the grace of God, I have been an overweight person that never had issues with their knees...until recently. 

At the beginning of the year, I decided to become more active. I lounge around my house like a cat and move as little as possible. So, coupled with my meal prepping (which has been awful), I decided to try to be more mobile. BIG MISTAKE! Not long after this decision, my right knee started to act up. I feel like I'm having a flashback! During the pandemic, this Delta I went to college with who was way skinnier and healthier than me up and died out of nowhere. This scared me to the point that I vowed to do more water aerobics. After my first day back in the pool, I woke up the next day feeling like my right leg was about to pop off. I had pulled my hip flexor, and for months, I was hobbling around the house in tears. Since I am uninsured, I just tried to nurse myself back to health with a delicate mixture of Bio Freeze, Tigar Balm, a hot water bottle, and Ibuprofen. It was the worse time of my life. I am now seeing a pattern: exercise = injury. But I have to get moving, so I have just been dancing on my stomach while listening to bounce music with my FitBit on. Just so you know, twerking on your stomach to "Shake It Like A Dog" by Kane and Abel on repeat will burn you a good 500+ calories easy. 

Anywho, I do not do well with pain or discomfort. I have been sleeping extra still as to not upset my knee, which has been both painful and uncomfortable. 

Thinking back on how this all started, I have to blame my clumsy nephew. He came in my room to get something and fell on my already tweaking knee with the full force of his 50+ pounds. I screamed and he ran out of the room. Now, here we are. 

Luckily, I can still get up and move, but I do so slowly, scared to upset my knee, which is now running the show. I creep around my own knee like it's a sleeping baby. It really is tiresome and annoying. But at times like this I have been told it is best to count your blessings, which I'm scared to do. I don't want to injure a finger. 

The Knee Nightmare

I write to you this morning after what very well may have the been the worst sleep of my life!
Yesterday morning, after innocently aiding my sister in opening a can of ravioli, I slid on a dustpan that someone left in the middle of the floor, thus landing super hard on my right knee. I mean, super hard.
If there was ever a time that I really think I needed a doctor, it was then. I tried to get up, and ended up back on the floor. And as my useless siblings watched me wallow in pain, I did my best not to scream. The next pain that I feel like this will probably be childbirth. Lying on the kitchen floor, I prayed not to get Arthritis from this. My grandma had it and she would cry, rubbing her hip, every time it rained. I had an old P.E. teacher who had to get a knee replacement, and it made her leg fatter than the other one. My aunt had knee surgery when I was in undergrad, and she is just now walking without a limp.
My knee is soooo stiff. I can't bend it. I literally had to stop, drop, and roll to get to the bathroom as Betsy, what I have now named my knee, snapped, crackled, and popped the whole way there. I'm fat, so I can't tell if my knee is swollen, but it hurts like Hell. Like. Hell.
So about my sleep: it sucked. I didn't know what a big part being able to bend your knee played in a good night's rest. A half-baked fetal position and sitting up, those are the only two positions I could muster. I cried, I prayed, I whaled. I wished I had a Midol or some crack or a gun, anything to ease the misery. Finally, God had mercy on me and Betsy, and blessed me with 46 straight minutes or rest, a record for the night.
Here is something you may or may not know about me: I hate being hurt and I hate being sick. I have true disdain for anything that prevents me from doing things at the speed I would usually do them. Last night, it took my brother 20 minutes to prepare me a bag of ice for Betsy. It would have taken me 3!
As I type this post, groggy and annoyed, I try not to resent my siblings for not helping me and for leaving shit just lying around. I have to stop myself from hoping one of them falls. Uh-oh, negative thoughts. Time to turn to my gospel playlist.