Today I bought a new computer.
My last computer, an EMachine I got last year from HHGregg (which for some reason I am quite spiritually connected to) went black on me. Apparently, according to a really cute Geek Squad worker, my backlight went out. So I would need to replace my whole screen, which would be about as much as a cheap computer. Of course, this would happen very close to my payday, so I had to do some SERIOUS juggling just to purchase a $325 Toshiba the size of a dinner table!
$ 325. That doesn't sound like a lot, but it is for a girl who is paid with magic beans, that is paying off student loans, and has financial obligations out the wazoo. It might as well have been $1000!
On top of the computer, I had to buy that anti-virus crap. I couldn't afford a warranty. Couldn't afford the Microsoft Home and Office 2010. I am just beside myself.
It is days like this that I do wish that I was skinny so I could just go to a club, do a couple of lap dances, and come home with a couple of stacks.
I was just telling my girl Dorthy how I used to be a major snob. When I worked in fast food when I was in high school, strippers and hoes and all other types of questionable women would come in late and get chicken, and I used to be like, "Ew gross! Don't they have any dignity?" Now I see that they had dignity, they just had bills. Money is money!
The best bet for a chub like me is a sponsor, some old dude on the verge of death with fat wallets and a fatty fetish. If your father or grandfather fits this description, please send him my way. Nothing nasty, promise, I just need my phone bill paid.
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