The Secret's in the Sleeve

Okay so here is the deal: I went to homecoming and saw that a lot of my friends had lost weight, and they looked FABULOUS! Then I came home and was informed that the word from the curb was that these chics had lost all this weight because they'd gotten the gastric sleeve. This was super shocking, seeing that the person who told me this had also gotten it done! For those of you who don't know, it's some procedure where they reduce the size of your stomach somehow. I have read up on it and I will be honest, I don't really understand the science of it all. But still, I was amazed by this news!
Then I went to IG and really began to investigate all of the weight loss bloggers that I really like and I now suspect that they are all sleeved as well. They are NEVER sweaty in those super cute gym pics. I felt duped!
So, confused and not sure how to feel about all of this, I referred to my moral compass: Haynes. I asked her if I should get the sleeve and she was all like I should do what will make me happy. Typical Haynes, encouraging me to think about my actions and how they affect me, as if that has ever worked! So I then went to Bells, who was all like do it!
Just thinking about it makes me feel like I'm cheating, even though technically, if I went through with it, the only thing I would actually be cheating is an early death. But it is cheating, right? I don't like girl cheating, which is why I don't wear foundation when I need it or fake eyelashes even though my real lashes are embarrassingly short. I know, I know, I have a lot of nerve talking about cheating. I was the first one to take biotin tablets to make my hair grow. Then, when people asked me what I'd done it, I credited prayer and my Shea Butter regimen. But you have to understand, I was tired of being bald and wanted my hair to grow already, and I felt super pretty with longer hair. Maybe that is what it is about; not whether or not you are cheating but how the said cheating makes you feel. I mean, isn't it about your health and how you feel about yourself?
I wish I was friends with Donnalyn Perriwinkle. She girl cheated big time and got some very, VERY, VERY, very obvious breast implants. And anyone who would say that she doesn't look Tony the Tiger grrreeaattt is lying! She looks gorg, and I would like to ask her what made her decide to go through with it. Did it bother her that people would know that they weren't hers? How did she feel afterward?
Sadly, a matter such as whether or not to get a sleeve isn't a purely cosmetic one like whether or not to get implants. One could consider it a matter of life or death. And I really need to consider it, even thinking about it is putting my nerves to the test, a test that, if you weren't reading my every move, I would totally cheat on.