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Saturday, November 14, 2009

Topless Ticky

There is this really chic Asian lady that goes to my gym. I keep forgetting her name, so I have nicknamed her "Ticky." She has to be knocking on forty, but she bops around the gym in those tight Victoria Secret sweats with those spaghetti strap tops. Every time I turn around she is over in the weight section flirting with those huge muscle guys, the ones that don't even look real. She's a flirt, especially with the Black guys, slapping them on the arm.
"You so funny Gerry!" she'll cry.
She is typically the type of woman that would annoy me, but somehow she has become my pal. The only thing is that Ticky LOVES being nakie. When she changes her clothes in the gym she makes a point to walk around topless. When she gets out of the shower, she'll put the towel around her waist and walk around topless, and today, when I went into the sauna, she was topless. I get the feeling that she likes her breasts, probably because they are showroom new. No, I do not have proof that her breasts are fake, and I don't want to stereotype, but I have never seen an Asian woman with double D breasts. And I have really never seen a woman, regardless of race, who had doubles that stood at attention.
Two things bug me about my buddy Ticky. I find her toplessness to be a we bit odd, and second, she does this without thinking about whether or not anyone is uncomfortable. As you all know, I hate nudity, so maybe that is why I am so weirded out, but for once, I would like to go to the gym to get my low-intensity workout on without feeling like I am in the opening scene of Carrie. I know that we are all girls in the locker room and have the same thing, but can't our "same things" be hidden underneath a turtleneck? I have taken it upon myself to tell Ticky, without saying anything, that her little panty parades are inappropriate but I don't know. Selling the idea of being clothed to a woman as self-confident as Ticky could by tricky.

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