After meeting a young man that my cousin brought home from college this Thanksgiving I have to say that yet again, the male process of deductive reasoning never ceases to amaze me.
First off, let me describe this guy to you. He is tall and thin and handsome and brown. He may be a couple of months shy of 21. He is a broadcast major that keeps clips of his work handy on an adorable bite-size laptop in a matching bite size bag. He agrees that commentator news is killing journalism. Although he is only a sophomore, he has traveled to Cambodia to do a hard, international piece, and he doesn't sag his skinny jeans. That's really important because a sagging skinny on a man makes my stomach ache.
I say that all to say, in a nutshell, that this guy comes off as an upstanding young man. However, I feel that there are some women out there that may feel his relationship practices could label him as otherwise.
Never missing a chance to interview a young cutie, and potentially find a match for a single buddy, I asked the lad if he was single. He said yes. But a few follow-up questions revealed that he has a girl, a P.Y.T. that he refers to as his "main." Even though he has been dating her for four years and did not mind me referring to her as his girlfriend, he still considers himself single. Why? Because he's not married silly.
And since he is not married, he also has another girl, I mean woman, on the side. He refers to her as a "Sugar Mama" who's 32-years-old and married with kids. I had to laugh as well as respect his swag. I mean really, how did he find a grown woman to financially support him in this economy? But hey, it is not that he does not earn his sugar mama's sweets. As he said, she needed someone to "take care of business." You can deduce what that means.
For some reason, I wanted to know why the "Sugar" just didn't leave her husband if she was unhappy. He said he wouldn't want her to because, at his age, he couldn't "do anything with her" if she did. I also asked him about commitment, to his "main" of four years. He then informed me that, if you are not married, there is no such thing. But he did share that he one day hopes to get married and have kids, so I asked him at what point do you get serious with a woman to even lead to that point. He did not know, but assured me that you do commit once rings have been exchanged.
Although I appreciated his honesty, I was a bit annoyed with the feeling that I got that he viewed women as disposable. But I guess I have to stand in his Steve Maddens here. He is a young, college-educated brotha with no kids who is clearly going places in life. He attends a college where the ratio of women to men is 7:1. With those odds, it seems that women can be tossed and replaced.
I enjoyed speaking with this guy, because I feel that he represents a new generation of daters who, essentially, don't date. So where does this leave females who have been searching since their first Disney movie for commitment? Up the creek without a paddle I would imagine, seeing that this guy asked me why someone would even want a commitment. I guess that boys will be boys. Isn't that what they used to say? Boys will be boys until they grow up and become a man, and that is all good. But I guess my ultimate question as someone who is quite unlucky in love is this: what position do young women play until men break out of there Peter Pan phase? From the looks of it, there are always openings for "Sugar Mamas" and "mains."
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