Last night, I had two nightmares. You should know that they are horrible, because I remember them both clearly.
In the first one, it was the 80s, and I had live in a group home with drug dealers, girl gangsters, and junkies. In one scene in the dream, the gangsters were making the junkies count crack on the table. I was so scared to live there, I spent all my time with my computer at a donut shop.
As for the second dream, my aunt took me to go look at some projects that my cousin Stephanie was living in and left me there. I had to stay with her until my apartment was ready, and she kept telling me to not get too comfy, because her husband was coming, and because my apartmet wasn't going to be as nice as hers.
I don't interpret dreams for a living, but I think this may have something to do with my lease being up in two months and me being scared shitless on where I am going to live next on my income. Maybe you know or you don't know, I am MORTIFIED of being homeless. Scared. Shitless. I doubt I will have to live in a box, but my subconscious isn't convinced. I will let you know how it plays out.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Not A Pet Person
So Connie hadn't been buying her cat Jimmy food which made him, how can I say, violent.
Three days in a row, I would go in the kitchen to make my dinner, and he would rub up against me and pur and crap. Which grossed me out because he has fleas. Then, when he realized he didn't have any food, he would scratch and bite.
I hate Jimmy.
He is like a baby, and I don't have nor desire kids at this point in my life. He's needy. He's annoying. He brought flees in the house. He gets on the furniture and he runs between my legs. I can't stand him!
The other day it rained and he was gone outside for a couple of days. I was hoping he had run away, but no such luck.
This experience with Jimmy has taught me that I am truly not a pet person.
Three days in a row, I would go in the kitchen to make my dinner, and he would rub up against me and pur and crap. Which grossed me out because he has fleas. Then, when he realized he didn't have any food, he would scratch and bite.
I hate Jimmy.
He is like a baby, and I don't have nor desire kids at this point in my life. He's needy. He's annoying. He brought flees in the house. He gets on the furniture and he runs between my legs. I can't stand him!
The other day it rained and he was gone outside for a couple of days. I was hoping he had run away, but no such luck.
This experience with Jimmy has taught me that I am truly not a pet person.
The Porn Problem
Yesterday, Cinnamon and I were chilling at home and when Connie called us from work. She wanted to know if, while she was at home, we had been ordeing lesbian porn on her television.
Sigh.
First we were using her soap while she was gone. Then it was towels. Recently it was spoons. Now its porn.
The answer to this, of course, is no. I watch lesbo porn on my computer in the privacy of my own room for free. I don't need to go in her room and watch it for $15 a pop! That's silly!
I hate being accused of shit. It's just annoying and insulting. Lesbian porn. I am scared to wonder what is next.
Sigh.
First we were using her soap while she was gone. Then it was towels. Recently it was spoons. Now its porn.
The answer to this, of course, is no. I watch lesbo porn on my computer in the privacy of my own room for free. I don't need to go in her room and watch it for $15 a pop! That's silly!
I hate being accused of shit. It's just annoying and insulting. Lesbian porn. I am scared to wonder what is next.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Run In
So, I was at this event for my job and I saw this girl that looked really, really familiar.
Well, after racking my brain, I remember that she was in my math class in summer school when I was in the 10th grade. She was older than me and really pretty. Any who, these boys were talking about me and they made me cry and she wrote me this really nice letter telling me I was awesome and pretty and stuff. I never forgot that.
Well, we got to chatting. She is super pretty now and works for Alicia Keys and is pretty much awesome. She had really cool clothes and a really cool job. All I could think about was how cool it could have been if she could have seen me and I looked like Zoe Saldana and was like the president of Universal or something.
Either way, it was good to see her.
Well, after racking my brain, I remember that she was in my math class in summer school when I was in the 10th grade. She was older than me and really pretty. Any who, these boys were talking about me and they made me cry and she wrote me this really nice letter telling me I was awesome and pretty and stuff. I never forgot that.
Well, we got to chatting. She is super pretty now and works for Alicia Keys and is pretty much awesome. She had really cool clothes and a really cool job. All I could think about was how cool it could have been if she could have seen me and I looked like Zoe Saldana and was like the president of Universal or something.
Either way, it was good to see her.
The Abstract
As a 26 year old virgin, I can say that there are two things that happen as you near 30 with a hymen.
First, you get super horny to the point that you act like a tween. Every guy is hot, every dude is doable. And sure, you don't go as far as to actually have sex, but it's always on the brain. I will estimate that that was me from about 22-25.
Now, it's becoming a little different. Now, it's like an abstract idea. Like the moon or something. Like, I know the moon is real, but it's really far away, and I am never going to go there. I am assuming by 28 I will think of sex like a unicorn- like something that doesn't really exist but would be cool all the same.
I don't know if my new line of thinking is good or bad. I can't say. But I figure if I keep going down this path, by 30, I will just be tired and over it and will possibly be able to maintain my hymen for the rest of my life.
Again, I don't think that would be a good or bad thing, just sayin'.
First, you get super horny to the point that you act like a tween. Every guy is hot, every dude is doable. And sure, you don't go as far as to actually have sex, but it's always on the brain. I will estimate that that was me from about 22-25.
Now, it's becoming a little different. Now, it's like an abstract idea. Like the moon or something. Like, I know the moon is real, but it's really far away, and I am never going to go there. I am assuming by 28 I will think of sex like a unicorn- like something that doesn't really exist but would be cool all the same.
I don't know if my new line of thinking is good or bad. I can't say. But I figure if I keep going down this path, by 30, I will just be tired and over it and will possibly be able to maintain my hymen for the rest of my life.
Again, I don't think that would be a good or bad thing, just sayin'.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Estelle - Break My Heart ft. Rick Ross [Official Video]
I heart Estelle. Not sure though about Rick Ross in pink pants...
Miami, Miami, You've Got Style!
So this past weekend I went to Miami to cover the American Black Film Fest! It was so fun! I got to meet some celebs, but my favorite part of going to Miami, of course, was the hotel pool. Flea Bag
I am being eaten by fleas!
I have bumps all over from them nibbling on me. My skin looks gross!
Of course, Jimmy the cat brought the fleas in here. He is so gross, I will totally not have a pet when I get my own place. He's like a baby that you can't love or something. He sheds all over the place, acts like he runs the joint, and now, he has blessed us with fleas!
So today the bug guy has to come through and spray some toxic gases to kill them. Hopefully, it will work. Because if these fleas get in my hair or in my jay jay, the cat is toast!
I have bumps all over from them nibbling on me. My skin looks gross!
Of course, Jimmy the cat brought the fleas in here. He is so gross, I will totally not have a pet when I get my own place. He's like a baby that you can't love or something. He sheds all over the place, acts like he runs the joint, and now, he has blessed us with fleas!
So today the bug guy has to come through and spray some toxic gases to kill them. Hopefully, it will work. Because if these fleas get in my hair or in my jay jay, the cat is toast!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Bills, Bills, Bills
My grandmother used to complain daily about the amount of bills she had, and I used to think she was trippin'.
Now, I totally see what she was talking about. I can't open up mail box without there being something else I have to pay for!
The nightmare bill of the month: my power bill. It's over three hundred dollars, which might as well be a million!
Sigh.
I don't want to be one of those people who is drowning in debts, but this is crazy! I never have any money.
If only I were skinny, I would strip.
Now, I totally see what she was talking about. I can't open up mail box without there being something else I have to pay for!
The nightmare bill of the month: my power bill. It's over three hundred dollars, which might as well be a million!
Sigh.
I don't want to be one of those people who is drowning in debts, but this is crazy! I never have any money.
If only I were skinny, I would strip.
Monday, July 4, 2011
HOT!
It is so hot at my house that last night I had to sleep naked in front of the fan to sleep.
Any one who knows me knows that I have a MAJOR issue with nudity. I don' t feel like it should be allowed. As I often tell Lauren, we should feel about our bodies the way God wants us to: ashamed and embarrassed.
Every hour I woke up, scared that someone could see me in my room or something, making me more and more aware that I was naked and hot. Hopefully it will cool off so that I can get dressed. But as of now, even having on a t-shirt has me feeling like I am on fire!
Any one who knows me knows that I have a MAJOR issue with nudity. I don' t feel like it should be allowed. As I often tell Lauren, we should feel about our bodies the way God wants us to: ashamed and embarrassed.
Every hour I woke up, scared that someone could see me in my room or something, making me more and more aware that I was naked and hot. Hopefully it will cool off so that I can get dressed. But as of now, even having on a t-shirt has me feeling like I am on fire!
UnPretty
As of late, my attractiveness has been called into question. This is shocking to me, because it has always been said that I am fat. I am fat. But I am adorable! I am totally cute.
And lately, people have been giving me the ugly girl speech about how I have a good personality. My personality is A+ put here is the thing, I am also gorgeous!
People are going to have their opinions. On the bus the other day, I heard a man with no teeth say that Beyonce wasn't pretty. But what I don't appreciate is the way people are trying to get me to second guess my confidence, as if my confidence offends them and they want me to rethink it. Check it, it has taken 22 years for me to like myself, and I am just now regaining my positive self image from the P incident. I am really not trying to feel about myself the way I did in middle school.
Ah people, they are sooo full of it.
And lately, people have been giving me the ugly girl speech about how I have a good personality. My personality is A+ put here is the thing, I am also gorgeous!
People are going to have their opinions. On the bus the other day, I heard a man with no teeth say that Beyonce wasn't pretty. But what I don't appreciate is the way people are trying to get me to second guess my confidence, as if my confidence offends them and they want me to rethink it. Check it, it has taken 22 years for me to like myself, and I am just now regaining my positive self image from the P incident. I am really not trying to feel about myself the way I did in middle school.
Ah people, they are sooo full of it.
Cell Phone Pics
So my sister texts me the day before yesterday that she is going to text me some pics of herself and that she wants me to post them on her Facebook page. I get the pics, and they are all these weird cell photos she's taken, posing in the bathroom. They put a bad taste in my mouth, so I told her I wasn't going to post them.
I swear, these 90s babies. If older people didn't live among them, they would torch the world just to watch it born. They are nuts! They don't second guess a goddamn thing! Lil sis, if I was stupid, would have had pics on the Internet of her in front of a shower with her T-shirt fashioned like a bikini top.
The Act Now Think Later...Maybe Generation. These are kids that think that Kim Kardashian is cool because she made a sex tape. The people that Tweet that they are taking a shit and expect you to care. I don't understand what my sister is telling me 80% of the time, and we are only 13 years apart! Just a little over 10 years, and she looked at me confused when I told her that the white lady on The Game used to be on "Sweet Valley High" and has a twin.
Cell Phone Pics. She could tell me the Amber Rose sage from start to finish, and still want to put risque pics online. Not with my assistance.
I swear, these 90s babies. If older people didn't live among them, they would torch the world just to watch it born. They are nuts! They don't second guess a goddamn thing! Lil sis, if I was stupid, would have had pics on the Internet of her in front of a shower with her T-shirt fashioned like a bikini top.
The Act Now Think Later...Maybe Generation. These are kids that think that Kim Kardashian is cool because she made a sex tape. The people that Tweet that they are taking a shit and expect you to care. I don't understand what my sister is telling me 80% of the time, and we are only 13 years apart! Just a little over 10 years, and she looked at me confused when I told her that the white lady on The Game used to be on "Sweet Valley High" and has a twin.
Cell Phone Pics. She could tell me the Amber Rose sage from start to finish, and still want to put risque pics online. Not with my assistance.
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