20Pause

Lately, I have been really concerned about my mental well-being. Really. Concerned.
My last period was an emotional disaster. I can't even explain how lost and alone I felt and the types of things I was thinking. I tried to talk to Lauren about it, but I honestly couldn't put into words how shitty I was feeling. And then I was like, shocked, because it came out of nowhere.
Then, yesterday, on my bday, while I was walking, I was OVERWHELMED by negative thoughts. I mean overwhelmed to the point where it was paralyzing and hard to breath. I was just eager to get home and cry!
So, I talked to Jamaica about it, and how I think I should try to go and get put on meds because the thoughts were so scary and overpowering, and she told me that she had experienced the same thing and nearly had a break down in one of her government certification classes.
"You don't need medication," she assured me on Thursday. "I have been going through this for a year, I told my dad about it and he's a doctor and he said it's fine. We are all going through it."
But after the birthday breakdown, I was not convinced, and I talked to her again on Friday. She said, "It's horrible, but I'm telling you, you don't need meds. All the girls our age are going through it, it's like menopause for women in their 20s before they hit thirty, I promise."
I have coined this 20Pause.
And if Jamaica is infacto correcto, I feel like I have to be having the most worstest horrifiyingest 20Pause on the books! Yesterday, I thought that I was going to have a panic attack! I mean guys, it was scary, and if this is so common, how come this is the first time I am hearing about this? Yesterday my swing was so bad, I wanted to change my ringtone from "I Love Your Smile" to "Black Hole Sun"! I think I will have to research this, I will let you know what is up for the potential 20Pausers out there.