I talked to my friend Amelia who informed me that her college ex recently got divorced 😞 It seems that he cheated on his wife, who now gets Juanita Jordan level alimony from him😍 I was never the biggest fan of this guy. He has always been mildly douchey. But I was happy to hear that he was learning one of those killer 30s lessons: it's cheaper to keep her. However, what was even more interesting about this story was Amelia's take on it all.
"His ex-wife is Christian, and I know that it is wrong that he cheated on her, but in The Bible, men had like ten wives at a time. Men fell in love many times and had many women and everything was all good. I'm just saying."
Oh no. My friend has become one of those girls.
I don't know where I fall on the Christianity scale. I believe that there is a God, but I hate waking up early on Sundays. Yet it never ceases to amaze me how people will use The Bible to justify any and everything. First, it was slavery, not it's group relationships!
I do not believe that God would want you to allow yourself to be disrespected to fulfill some dude's misogynistic fantasy of having a whole bunch of women at his beck and call. Furthermore, we as women can not drink this Kook-Aid that He would. We all have to be in one accord on this before we all wake up one day as sisterwives, wondering how we go to this place. I believe that there is one person for everybody, and when you find them, appreciate it, and demonstrate a little friggin' self-control and try to be committed! Because a lesson that I have learned in my 30s with men is this: you better stand firm on your morals with them. Letting silly stuff slide like cheating makes it hard for the next woman to have a committed relationship. We can not settle for less, for ourselves, and for the next sister's sake.
I explained this to Amelia and she said that she agrees, although I don't see how you can fall on both sides of the fence with this. One of those lessons that you probably learned in middle school applies: stand for something or fall for anything. A least stand for respecting yourself and knowing your worth. I know, easier said than done. Let's work on it together.
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