With The Quickness

Has anyone else noticed that the older you get, the quicker the big issues come up in those first getting to know you conversations? I don't think I was on the phone with this guy Ted for ten minutes before he demanded to know my stance on abortion. 

"I wouldn't respect any woman who did that!" he declared. 

"Well...I believe women should be able to get the healthcare they need," I said, wondering how we ended up on this topic of all topics. 

"Really?! I know girls back home who have had four or five abortions. What do you think about that?" he demanded.

"I think men are pretty pro-life until they get the bill," I said, dryly. Oops! There I go again accidentally telling a guy my true feelings. You would think I'd know better by now. 

I guess past a certain age you don't have time to waste on pleasantries. You have to find out how looney someone is quickly. Many of us would probably be better off if we would have done this from the start. The Gen Z girlies aren't playing around about getting to the heart of matters expediently. My Gen Z buddy Tanya told me all about it. 

"My friend Jess went home with a guy she met on Tinder," Tanya began, "and they were about to hook up, but she asked him who he voted for President and he didn't want to answer."

Not a good sign, I thought. 

"She didn't like his answer so she got up and left!" said Tanya. 

Sigh. If so many of us elders would have got up and left, but we didn't, now we are having cringy conversations about abortion with men we met online. 

Here's the thing they tell you but that you don't believe until your back is against the wall: time is of the essence. This is especially true in today's piss poor dating landscape. The key is to find a way to take your time without wasting it, but I'm almost at a point where I don't know if that's possible. Everything in the dating world just feels so rushed and somehow overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time. I kind of want to clock out of the whole thing, but no can do when you have to hurry up. 

Adulting- No Thanks

I am not even 40 yet, and I am almost out of the juice it takes to effectively be an adult. It's just too much. 

Anything that can be considered a part of "taking care of business" or "being grown" I simply can't tolerate. I don't have the patience or the energy or that whatever. I just want to take a nap. 

To get things done, I try to space out my heavy tasks throughout the week. Today, I had to have a conversation with my graduate advisor. I wanted to scream the whole time. Making a doctor's appointment takes so much out of me that I usually have to hide under a mountain of blankets afterward. Every time I have to do anything concerning my checking account or paying a bill, I experience level trillion trauma. And don't let me have to call the IRS for any reason. After those calls, I usually have to go on a 5-day mental hiatus. Could you imagine if I had kids?? I'd probably be blowing bubbles right now in the corner of a padded room. 

I need a break, even though I take 600 breaks a day. I need to rest, even though I am quite sure that the amount of hours I sleep is considered some lightweight human hibernation. How does everyone else have all this energy? I have friends that run businesses and raise families and travel the world! Friends that juggle lovers and keep up lies and live in a fantasy. Friends who work quadruple shifts at hospitals. Creators. Engineers. Disrupters. Imaginators. Spouses. Caregivers. HOW?

So that I don't feel too bad about myself, I like to imagine that once a week, my friends do photoshoots of themselves in different outfits doing different things so that they can post them at different times on social media to distract from the fact that they too are at home, screaming into a pillow. 

Sidebar: Can you believe that there are people in the world that have pets that they clean, feed, and take on walks all while they hold down a job, maintain relationships, and just live?! It's shocking! 

Sidebar Sidebar: I saw a video of a college friend of mine at a birthday party on IG. She looked super cute and was dancing with the energy of a 10-year-old. Watching the video exhausted me to the point that I fell asleep unintentionally with the phone in my hand. Her vibes exerted so much energy from me that my body shutdown! 

Okay. That's enough whining for today. Time to sit still in the dark.