Not So Smart

Can we take a minute to talk about Black, scholarly, womanist, community-minded lesbians for a sec? I got to meet some last night because my friend KT invited me to visit her at her hotel. She was in town for a women's conference. She wanted to hang out and introduce me to her colleagues; the Black, scholarly, womanist, community-minded lesbians.
These women were where Black feminity went to get its best life! I'm talking bald heads, fades, afros, colorful lipsticks, huge earrings, Black history lapel pins, and dripping confidence.
And their conversations. YIKES! They were going in on gender and their cool professor jobs and balancing children (or not having children) and career.
"Where do you teach?" the one with the big afro puff in a beautiful wrap dress asked. This is a hot button question, seeing that I am a writer with no publisher and a publicist with no clients; a grownup with allowance money and a childlike desire to run and hide.
"I'm a publicist," I answered. What the hell. I have a website.
This answer triggered some type of conversation about how people identify on the sexual spectrum and I had no idea what this woman was talking about. I could tell that I was the only one that didn't. I felt so dumb. I have always considered myself to be pretty smart and in-the-know but look at my life: I'm broke and alone. Maybe I'm not so smart.
I decided to just listen and not say anything. I couldn't risk looking like I didn't know what I was talking about. I had tried to steer the conversation towards something I was comfortable with. I really wanted to address how poorly Trina Braxton is being styled on Sister Circle. Everything they dress her in makes her look 40lbs heavier than she is.
"Who is Trina Braxton?" the one with the short, blond natural asked.
I clutched my pearls. Who was Trina Braxton? But I guess I couldn't be too upset. I didn't know what gender binary meant.
"I can't believe you tried to talk about Trina Braxton with those women," my aunt remarked during a grocery store run. "Those women are at work when that show comes on. You are the only one at home watching that trash."
Ouch.
Isn't it funny how your insecurities just pop up and say hello at the oddest times? I am insecure about the fact that I don't have an advanced degree and had almost forgotten this fact until I had dinner with college professors and saw the difference between them and myself. It's actually something I would like to explore further but I can't. Wendy Williams is coming on.

Not Another Grad School Post

Sigh. Barf. Gag.
The end of the year is here and it's time to make those pertinent yet annoying resolutions that I am not going to work on that are going to make me feel like a loser this time next year.
Yawn. Yuck. Ew.
Since I graduated from college, the biggest thing that I have gone back and forth about in my life is whether or not I want to go to grad school. When I was 24, the answer was no, and three weeks shy of 33 the answer is still no. Just thinking about those GRE flashcards from hell is making me cringe as I type this.  I am not a good test taker! But here is the thing: life isn't all about what you want to do.
You see, some things haven't panned out the way that I wanted them to. For one, I am not a rich and famous journalist. That was the Plan A. I am also not close to Plan B, which is marrying someone rich that would provide me with a lifestyle so fabulous that I would forget that I am not on CNN. So as these things are not happening, what am I supposed to do? Chill and wait for something amazing to fall out of the sky? I hate to get biblical here, but didn't Jesus say something about God helping those that get off of their lazy butts and study for a test that they'd rather not take to get into a grad school that they can not afford to become something that they don't want to be?
I wish I knew how to multi-task and plan ahead. When I was in my 20s and had the energy, I should have been doing my journalism thing while getting an advanced degree in something that could cushion me or further me along in some way. Unfortunately, I have always been an all-in dreamer type of a girl. I put all my eggs in one basket and crossed my fingers, hoping for the best.
The good news is that I think that I am still young enough to correct this. The bad news is that I don't have the energy to. Ugh, damn my dreamer spirit! I mean, I don't think I would be a bad social worker or kiddie shrink. I have this weird interest in urban planning that could probably take me places in a city like Atlanta if I applied myself. These careers would also provide me with the coin needed to get out of some debt and have a half decent standard of living. But I probably wouldn't write as much, and even though I'd be career-winning, I'd feel like I was emotionally losing if I wasn't living my dream.
Adulting is hard. A lot of thinking and decision making goes into becoming the macaroni with the cheese.
I think that it is best that I am practical and at least do some things that will provide me with some options. Sadly, this includes looking into grad school programs. If I get into some place by the fall I can be on my way to having a real adult life by 35. I'm talking zero balances and home ownership. Hopefully, my sell-out job will give me health insurance and enough time to update this blog on my lunch break.

Introducing Le Dessein!

Using fashion to support a cause is not new. However, making those you are helping the face of your fashions is. Le Dessein is using 25% of the revenue from all pieces sold to help empower young girls through education. The cool part about their clothing: the young girls that the brand supports draw portraits which are then embroidered onto the fashions! See my favorite pieces from the collection below:

Nior, $173

 Deux Tons, $78

Le Petit, $81

Learn more about Le Dessein here.

Tatyana Ali Talks TEACHER

Poverty and its correlation to a good education continues to be a hot botton issue in this country. In the film TEACHER, which is screening this month at the LA Film Festival, actress Tatyanna Ali addresses this issue head on.

TheBGInTheCity: Tell us about your role in TEACHERS.

Tatyana Ali: I play a teacher, and I was interested in doing it because it poses an interesting dilemma: how far can a teacher go to help a student? And where are the lines, especially when poverty is involved? My character has a real affinity for her student and goes out of her way to help her. 

TheBGInTheCity: What is the message that you hope gets across in the film? 

TA: I hope it shows where education and poverty intersect in the lives of the people involved. We make assumptions of students based on grades, and it's an unfair assumption.

TheBGInTheCity: Can you remember any of your favorite teachers? Who were they and why were they your favorites?

TA: I am blessed to have had amazing teachers. There was Mrs. Howard in the 3rd grade, Portia Adams and my other tutors on The Fresh Prince, My high school Intro to Philosophy teacher Dr. Hvolreok and my college counselor. Without him, I would not have gone to Harvard.

TheBGInTheCity: You are a very well-known actress, but I have seen you on YouTube supporting lesser known actresses like Andrea Lewis of Black Actress. Why?

TA: Because I wouldn't be here if other actresses wouldn't have given me a chance. I am interested in working with talented, gifted people. Whether they are known or not is a matter of timing and time. 

TheBGInTheCity: On a beauty note, we have been fans of your hair since you were a child actress. What is your hair routine? 

TA: I try to keep things natural. I learned from my grandmother to use a rosemary rinse. I take the rosemary, make a tea, then rinse my hair with it. It makes my hair strong. 

*TEACHER will be playing at the LA Film Fest through Film Independent's Project Involve Program on June 11.