The Paranoid Rants of an Un-confirmed Skitzo

As you all should know by now, I have my little things. One minute I am happy, the next minute I am pissed. Sometimes I am optimistic, other times I want to roll under a couch and die. And I thank you all for following me on this inconsistent roller coaster ride from Hell. Really, I do. This month my new thing is believing that those closest to me are hiding from me because they don't want to talk to me because I am a total annoyance and Debbie Downer. They were my friends in school because my personality was too big and they could not escape me. Now that we have distance between us it is way easier to avoid me. Like, I texted Brownie recently and he texted me back that he was at work. I know that this is probably true, but in my mind, I just imagine him chillin', eating pizza on his couch, watching The Departed or something, thinking of something to text me that will keep me at bay that won't sound like an outright lie. Every Sunday I call Fran, and today she said she couldn't talk long because she had lesson plans and had to meet up with her sister. Again, most likely true. But I imagine that she hangs up with me, calls one of our other friends, and raves about how she just has to change her number because she can't stand these Sunday chats and doesn't know how long she can go on faking like this. So I turned to Google. Some article said that a sign of a Skitzo is that they feel that people close to them are conspiring against them. Of course, this is one out of like ten signs that I have, but I feel like this one is serious enough for me to make a diagnosis. So now, amongst all of my evident issues, I am a skitz. Sigh, what are you gonna do?