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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Holly and the Vag

The other night I was talking to Sorta Beau and yes, he is still in the picture. Please, stop yelling. I'm not even sure how I feel about it. Anywho, he requested that I text him a pic of my vag.
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
I've heard too many bad stories. Girl sends vag pic to boy. Girl and Boy have bad breakup. Girl's vag ends up as a Myspace profile pic or as the joke of an email blast. No thank you. As if I do not have enough that I will have to explain when I get famous.
Sorta's request got me to realizin' that I have not seen my vag, like up close and personal, since I was like eleven. Saw it then, didn't care for it. Seen them in some questionable movies and really didn't care for them. But not seeing her since middle school is unacceptable, so I figured it was past due time to take a peak.
Let me just say that my relationship with my vag is very professional. I have named her Julia, a very old school, 1940s secretarial name. I wash her daily, check and make sure that everything is in order, and keep it moving. I am not one of these new generation girls that have gone vagtastic and takes pics of herself to post online! From what I can tell from my Google research, they all look sad. Then there are those weirdos that pierce their love below which, in my opinion, is about as useful as an ugly girl putting on lip gloss.
So the other night I found myself on a date with my digital camera, taking a few quick pics of Julia and in short, she needs work. She is just...blah. NO ONE will be seeing her if I have anything to do with it. She looked just as...off as the ones in the Google pics. Julia could definitely use a booster. Anyone have any spare lip gloss?

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