Stressed

Homecoming is over and it is now time to return to the disappointing garbage can fire that is my life. I have officially plunged into Post Traumatic Homecoming Syndrome. That is when I return home and realize, after spending the weekend fraternizing with doctors and pharmacists, that I am a loser. On top of this, I am so sleepy I cannot sleep. I babysat my 2-month-old niece that slept in 15-minute intervals before waking up screaming. I do believe that I am traumatized by my train ride to and from New Orleans. The ride was long, I was beyond uncomfortable, and an old drunk man flashed me his penis which was HORRIBLE! I won't even talk about my never-ending search for good, affordable healthcare.  I am anxious. My nerves are on end. I desire silence and solitude. On top of this, I want to drop my head into a cake. I need a shower. I have therapy tomorrow, thank God. Sleepy. Okay, bye. 

Rona Stress

I know that we all have experienced varying levels of stress and even mania during this seemingly never ending quarantine. Who didn't see the live videos in the beginning of folks fighting over toilet paper and cleaning wipes? At that point, I was waking up in the middle of the night and disinfecting the door knobs and toilet seats. Now, with threats of a third wave of crazy infection numbers on the rise (How did I miss the second wave?), I find that my Rona stress has increased to new heights of nutty. 

A friend of mine got Rona earlier this summer. His roommate gave it to him and the other three boys that live in their apartment. He didn't get outrageously ill. He didn't end up having to go to the hospital or anything like that. But he has lost his ability to taste and smell. I hear that this is a common symptom. But his roommates have gotten there senses back and he has not. It has been over a month. 

After hearing this, I found myself licking seasonings off of my hands to make sure that I could taste them. This was followed by a banana, blueberries, a teaspoon of BBQ sauce, and a protein shake. Once I was sure that my sense of taste was in order, I found myself nose first in the dryer sheets, trying to make sure that I smelled those. Then I sprayed Lysol and perfume to smell them until I almost made myself puke! 

This is life in RonaWorld. You either have spazz outs like me or you go to bars without your mask on as if it is 2019 and you can still party like it's 1999. Some people fall in the middle. All of us are over it. 

Well. Until next time. Those jalepenos in the fridge aren't going to lick themselves. 

Stress Forgetfulness

I suffer from stress forgetfulness. I don't know if this is a real thing that doctors recognize, but I have noticed it about myself and have given it a name.
Due to my recent bout of stress and anxiety, I forgot to take down my two-strand twists for a week and a half. Not. Good. I spent all of this morning detangling my hair. I am sure that if I would have waited another day, I would have dreadlocks.
There is a very important bill that I have to pay. It was due on the 10th, and I have been walking around with the envelope and money order in my purse since before then.
The worst thing that my stress forgetfulness has caused me to do is forget to call my student loan provider to let them know, AGAIN, that I am broke and unable to make payments. But it's okay. They called Transunion who then called Credit Carma who then emailed me and let me know that, as punishment for not returning that stream of endless calls, my score has dropped. I'M PISSED! I had just gotten to Needs Work! I'm now at Needs A Life Line.
I wish I could just stand at the top of the highest mountain and yell, "HEY! I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH SOME TOUGH STUFF! STUFF SO HORRIFYING THAT IT HAS CAUSED ME TO LASP INTO BOUTS OF AMNESIA! CAN THE WORLD REFRAIN FROM KICKING ME UNTIL I CAN AT LEAST REMEMBER TO TRY TO GET MY LIFE NOT TO SUCK?!
Unfortunately, that is not the way of the world. I wish I could forget to cry over the state of things.

The Inspiration 1: Resilience Tips

Here's a secret: the struggle is real out here, especially for those of us dream chasers. How resilient you are can determine whether or not you reach your goals! Stress expert Jan Bruce has some tips to help us through.

1.    Believing in yourself. It seems obvious, but in fact, you won’t get very far without it. A resilient person is not cocky but quite the opposite: she has a clear sense of her own potential, capability, and ability to cope and achieve—a top trait of resilient people. 

 

2.    Being able to see what is possible, while also seeing what is.  The most resilient people assess their surroundings as well as their own strengths and weaknesses, and know where they will excel—and where they will fall short. At the same time, they have a positive bias—they expect good things from the world and from other people. 

 

3.    Controlling your impulses and feelings. With the ability to self-evaluate and assess a situation must come the willingness to manage the impulses and emotions that result. The most resilient people don’t combust over little (or big) things. They take everything into account before they respond so that they don’t make rash decisions or other actions they may regret.

4. Aiming high ... and reaching out.  A resilient person doesn’t curl up and die over the slightest rejection or failure. In fact, she does the opposite; she expands, and reaches out—even in the wake of crisis. This is one of the most distinguishing characteristics of resilience: Your ability to continue to aim high and reach for it, instead of lowering your standards, expectations, or efforts. 

Is It Possible To Sniff Your Problems Away?

               

Secret: I have the worst time sleeping at night and I am always stressed. So I was happy when I  had the opportunity to try the Tata Harper roll on Aromatic Treatments in Stress and Bedtime. You roll the fragrances on your wrists or hands and then sniff. Doing so is supposed to help you relax. I LOVE aromatherapy candles, so I was eager to see how the roll-on would work.

The  scents are very strong and floral, and upon putting on each wrist, I didn't know how to feel about them. However, throughout the night, I found myself going back and forth to my wrists for a sniff! I was drawn more to the wrist with Bedtime on it, although, after application, both scents slowly became very calming. I can see using both roll-ons before bedtime becoming a habit. I will update you in two weeks on how using these products long term has helped with my stress and sleep.

Not sold on this form of aromatherapy? Find out more about the products and how they work here from Tata herself.



Tata Harper Aromatic Treatments in Bedtime and Stress, $60

TataHarperSkincare.com

Sincerly, Financially Distressed

I am going out of town.
I have to pay the power bill and for my Internet.
I literally had to rebudget my budget to be able to afford some Dove (I know I could get cheaper soap, but Dove makes my skin feel all babyish).
Yet, I find, that I have gotten to the point that I am like F it, I'm broke, I'm tired, and I want to spend money that I don't have on a half of a gallon of ice cream, so whatever.
I mean, if I become any more stressed over money than I already am, I swear to God, I will friggin' hurl, I'm not joking! The least I can have, to get me through this dollarless limbo, is some ice cream. I feel like that is only fair.

Miss WishIWasDependent

You know, men and woman alike have made it sound like being a Ms. Independent is a good thing. I can't agree, seeing that I will only have 5 bucks in my bank account after my Internet payment clears. Hope I don't get hungry.
I mean yeah, I like coming and going as I please and not being SUPER annoyed by my family, but there are some points where I just want to stop, go outside and yell, "Hey, I need some help here!"
The other day, while trying to juggle my gym bag, computer bag, purse, and new fan up the hill, I fell...hard. And I waited for one of my brothers to come help me, but of course, one is in school and I don't live with the other anymore. So, I had to get up, dust the dirt off my dress, and drag my belongings to the house.
I am assuming it gets a little better. I am not mad about it or resentful or anything. I like being on my own. I am just PRAYING that it gets a wee bit easier.

My inability to find another job has me feeling hopeless, to say the least. All I want to do is hide under the bed and eat.
I can not fit under the bed, but I am eating like never before, shoving junk down my throat without really chewing it. I am assuming I have gained weight because I bought a new pair of pants and they barely made it past my thighs.
For the sake of my already alarming unhealthiness and ever-expanding waistline, I need a second job...QUICK!

Written All Over My Face

When it comes to describing the past month of my life, I don't know which word to use: dramatic or traumatic.
My grandmother used to tell me when I was a kid that I was a drama queen, that I made things seem worst than they really are. So for a split second, I thought that maybe this has been the case of late. So what if I am technically homeless. I still have my health and I'm not dead, right?
This is what I told myself as I laid down to sleep on the floor of the motel that my family is currently staying at. And I have to say I even felt refreshed as I got up to go to the bathroom. Then I looked in the mirror.
MY FACE LOOKS LIKE A PIZZA!
I swear to you that I almost screamed. My face is soooo broken out! Not to toot my own horn but toot! I usually have good skin. The few instances that my skin has ever looked this bad has been when I was really stressed.
I remember having Pizza Face in the second grade when taking my ITBS Test. You know, that whack placement test they give you in elementary school that more so grades the teachers than your abilities. That doesn't stop the teachers from pressuring you to tears to pass. And of course, I had Pizza Face right before I went to Xavier. Ah, when I had little non-problem problems.
So back to my face. It looks horrible. And on top of that, I have lost my Afro pick and my hair feels like a rug. I do not look cute. I need to get myself together ya'll.