I was recently at an event with some girlfriends of mine, just chatting, when one of my close homies told me that she had sex with her long distance beau and he came too quick, thus she is dumping him.
Out of the other young women in the conversation, I was the only one that was TOTALLY alarmed by this. What could my homie do with a man that would come quick, as if he didn't have any other good qualities (such as staying faithful thousands of miles away)?
My friend's beau is a really nice guy that thinks the world of her. You can see it in the way he looks at her. But now, because of this oopsie daisy that happened only once in their whole relationship, he has got to go! He has a career in the arts, one that we all thought was really cool. Now, thanks for this minor love making hick up, he is sorry and unemployed and totally out of the running of being my homie's next top dude.
I was the only virgin in this group, which may be why I saw things so differently, but it seems silly to me to toss an otherwise good man because of sex. Not saying that sex is not big and isn't important, but it can't be the biggest or most important or I dare say that that is not a relationship at all. My friends were so adamant about her dropping this dude. I really could not believe it.
I looked at the young Black women around me and shook my head. If sex is a deal breaker, and in some cases not even unemployment and domestic violence, is this why so many older Black women are alone? I mean, these sistahs were serious! There was no changing their mind on this. Are our priorities this jacked from jump?
Maybe their thinking was a result of them being young and horny. Let's hope so. For I would hate to these beautiful, successful women alone years from now, clinging to the same questionable ideals.
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