I have always been an emotional
person. I cry a lot. But since I turned the big 2-9, I must say, I spend a
large amount of my day in tears. So many bills and so little time. So much
stress. So much extra! When I am not shoving cookies down my throat I am
whaling but I must say, I have gotten good at doing them both at the same time.
Question: Is this what being an
adult is? As a child, I envisioned adulthood as hanging at the mall for as long
as I wanted with my super pretty friends. Now I see it is more like trying not
to curse while making a payment plan with AT&T. I am almost 30 and nowhere
near where I thought that I would be. Nowhere near. Where is my house and my
luxury vehicle and my super long hair and my marriage to Marlin Wayans (don’t
judge me)?
It has been suggested to me that
I should go to a shrink but there is no need: I know why I am crying. There is
so much that I really want to do in life and for some reason, I feel like I am
running out of time! When I felt the clock starting I was in college, dancing
on stage at my favorite night club. As I feel the speed increasing, I find
myself on my bedroom floor, doing my taxes myself because I can’t afford to go
to H&R Block.
I don’t want to be a kid again
but I don’t want this. At what point do I get to exhale and buy a cocktail that
won’t take my checking account into a spiral into the negative? 40? 50? Or is
this feeling of deep panic, fear, and uneasiness the tight shoe that we have to
get used to wearing as we glide into middle age? If someone could text me the answer while I am on hold with Chase that would be great.
