The Terrible 29s 3: Desperado Nacho

I went to a networking event recently for professionals and I can’t lie, I went primarily because it was at a Mexican restaurant and I knew that there would be nachos. And there were nachos. Amazing hot chips drenched in white queso. And as I stuffed my face alone in the corner I found myself confused. Instead of seeing networking I saw a lot of folks scoping the scene, seeing what others were working with. And thus is life when you are 29 and over. Always look and smell your best because a trip to the gas station could serve as an impromptu date-a-thon.

At this point, I am scared to RSVP to events. A child’s birthday party could become a hookup hotspot. Folks feel sorry for your if you are almost 30 and single. And as they should: it sucks! The only people who like it are those that just got out of a long, long relationship and want to experience living alone but I assure you, they don’t like it for long.

When you are single, you are at the bottom of everyone’s to-do list after family, work, aerobics and grocery shopping. After your coupled friends take the dog to get a manicure they then say, hey, let me call Sally Single and see what she is up to. Don’t think the call is genuine. They just want to make sure you are not dead.

This is not a fun block to be in, so naturally you want to go out and meet people while at the same time wanting to hide under the bed. Word of advice: don’t go to anyone’s church service if they invite you. It is going to be an ambush. And you will then get to listen to a man tell you why he feels he has to get married tomorrow before God starts hating him. Emmm…romance.