I'm a few days into being 40 and I have to say that I am adjusting into it like a pair of church shoes three sizes too small. Some women hit 40 and it's just another year, but it really is a milestone for me. I am now in the perfect position to look back and see clearly all the mistakes I have made and all the things I didn't get done. And in doing so I now find myself wondering if I should continue to try to make my dreams come true or just give up, cut my losses, and try to make some real money before I end up retiring with nothing. I could become one of those unfortunate seniors who has to get a roommate and move into an extended stay motel. At some point, is it just best to let your hopes and dreams go?
I want to say yes, but I'm not so sure. My dreams of becoming a world famous author have kept the lights on in my heart since I was 6! How do I now transition into trying to figure something else out? The thought is exhausting and pressing now that I'm old enough to be a victim of age discrimination. I look forward to the day where I'm told I'm too old to file papers or pick up trash on the side of the expressway. Devoid of the teaspoon of energy and optimism I had as a younger woman, I can't imagine the mental fortitude it's going to take to make it now.
On top of this, writing is dying. Pretty soon, everything written that we read, down to the subtitles on a commercial, will be written by AI. I will be the first to say I can't compete with a computer!
As I need to find a way to make bigger money, I can't imagine my life without trying to fulfill my hopes and dreams. It's a get published or die trying type of deal. How fun it's going to be trying to make it with the ticking of a grandfather clock in my ear. The Arthur theme song says, "Believe in yourself! That's the place to start!" We'll see.
