Baby Love

I have a crush on a boy that works at the grocery store near my house.
Boy. Yikes, it feels weird even writing it. He is about 19 and I find myself oddly attracted to him. He is nothing like what I am usually interested in, starting with his age. He is shorter than me, Latino with an old, Black sounding voice. He needs to shave. He needs a haircut. He rubs me as lazy, running from the check-out line any free second he gets to go outside, smoke, and talk on his cell. I know that he did not finish high school, but I can not figure out if it was because he dropped out or because he was kicked out. I know, I know. I can really pick a winner.
Don't worry, I have no intention of telling him of my feelings. I just think he's cute, I'm old enough to be his babysitter, and the whole thing would just be weird. Plus, if I told every guy I thought was cute he was cute I would be hoarse by noon, Monday-Friday.
Today, while he tossed my purchases into a plastic grocery bag, I realized what in him I am attracted to: how careless he is. I don't get the feeling that he cares about his future. I don't get the feeling that he cares about getting an education or keeping his job or getting a beau or any of the things that CONSUME my trains of thought. In short, he is just young and dumb. He's allotting himself space to be young and dumb. Watching him stare blankly at the yellow wristband he'd forgotten to take off from whatever party he went to last night, I wonder if he knows what a luxury that is: to be young and dumb.