The Look

I went to the gym yesterday to, you know, hang out. At the gym, they have these individual rooms where classes take place. Well, in one of the vacant rooms, this chick was practicing for her fitness competition...in those clear stiletto stripper shoes, some boy shorts, and a "bra." I was hatin' on her at like a level 10. While pretending to work on one of the machines, I watched the men at the gym crowd around the window to watch her practice her routine, which included standing like a beauty queen, flexing her amazing legs, while smiling like an idiot.
So what's the problem? I want men to look at me like that, like they want to have sex with me and touch on me and stuff. And not just any men, but buff, sexy men like the ones at the gym.
But can I achieve this without being super in shape? Can I do it without somehow objectifying myself like this girl?
I want to say yes, but I don't think so. Because I am the opposite of this lady and attract the opposite type of man. And I am a bit tired of having to entertain men I am not at all attracted to or interested in because they are the type of man typically attracted to girls like me!
Unfortunately, I am not willing to change myself for such an obnoxious reason, thus depleting my self-respect and dignity, so as the old saying goes, "You always want you can't have."

Curious and the City

So Curious is supposed to be popping up for Memorial Day weekend to take me to see Sex and The City 2. I want to be excited, but I am sure that there is like an 80% chance that it won't happen. Why? Because boys lie and if they don't mean to lie, they end up becoming habitual broken promise makers. I don't know what annoys me most, the fact that he may not come so I will miss out on some much needed NC-17 action, or missing out on seeing the most anticipated movie of the summer for free?! I don't know if I can take another weekend of writing my articles and going to the gym, pretending to workout. What a bust!

Raisin' Hell

As part of my quarter-life crisis, I have taken a bigger initiative to strengthen my relationship with God, and can I say that it has been refreshing! I have always wanted to, but after being disappointed by my former church (for reasons best fit for another post) I decided to take a breaky-break from the church scene. But am I glad to be back! I like waking up on Sundays to be in the company of really kind people. But I am also getting better acquainted with God's word through the messages being taught, thus getting reacquainted with the idea of Hell.
Hell. Yikes. The one hot-spot that NO ONE wants to visit. I was talking to my buddy Waddles about it last night, and we both agreed that even though there are descriptions in The Bible and in literature, there is no way that the human mind can possibly fathom how HORRIBLE it must be. I can't stand Atlanta in July, so I think I better get my shit together soon before I spend eternity in a furnace.
Now I don't think that I am a bad person, but I'm no angel. A woman who sings at church asked the congregation what we do when we think that no one is looking. Good thing that was rhetorical! A couple of things I listed mentally I know for a fact is on God's no-no list.
Ugh, that damn no-no list! I have a lot of friends that chucked it long ago. Their thinking is that you only live once, so you might as well do what you want. And I agree...partially. It just seems that all the cool, freaky things I want to get into may not be on the list, but I am sure that JC and his daddy wouldn't think they are cool. Plus, isn't it stated somewhere in The Bible that thinking about sinning is just as bad as doing it? In that case, shouldn't you just do what you want since thinking about it will get you sent to the pits just as quickly?
So many questions and, according to my minister, so little time to get things straight. You are either good or you ain't. I guess the best thing I can do is be the best person I can be at all times and hope that God is impressed. Hopefully, he won't nickel and dime on the specifics.

The End of The Girlfriend- A Theory

I had a really good conversation with my friend Jamaica the other night about what we have dubbed as "The End of the Girlfriend" amongst young, Black, professional women. It seems like only a couple of years ago I could not go out to dinner without seeing us in friend cliques, sharing Calamari and sampling each other's Martini's over fun conversations. But it seems that the older I get, the more I am seeing Black girlfriend circles thinning out; the more I hear friends say things like "they are Spring cleaning" in the friend department or "eliminating drama" from their lives. I assumed that it was because as you get older, naturally friendships fade. But Jamaica offered me a different and perhaps more logical explanation to the extinction of the Black girl friendship.
"We can't be friends! We are all in competition!"
Competition for what? You already know: the Black man.
As I am sure the nation is aware of now after CNN's Black in America, the stats read that most successful sistahs are single- rich, but alone. Black men are either gay, in the slammer, uneducated, dead, or the dreaded possibility: dating outside of the Black community. This is a situation that has 30 something Black women clenching their fists and the 20 something Black women throwing 'bows! After getting our fortunes read, we now understand that we are at prime picking age for good relationships with the few eligible brothas left, and we will fight to the death to get one, cutting the competition at the knees. Unfortunately, that competition is our equally pretty, smart, and available BFFs.
I am not sure how true this is, but it is very plausible, considering how competitive girls can be. Imagine how it is now, seeing that we are in a serious situation! I shook it off. I'm a friends forever type of gal. After we get our husbands or partners, we will gravitate back to those women we love. Women can't live without some female comradery. The competition will be over, right? WRONG!
"We can't be friends after we get the ring, because we have to now keep the man! We can't have competition around, especially if she is single!"
This idea made me sad. But as I am bombarded by Facebook statuses about tossing friends and needing a man, I can not help but wonder if this theory is at least partially true. One thing's for sure, if the dating scene for the single Black woman is about to get dirty going into my 30s, I am definitely going to need my girls there for support, competition or not.

No Phone Zone

The other night I had one of my NOTORIOUS "bladder bouts." That's when I am RIPPED out of my sleep by this almost uncontrollable urge to pee. During my mad dash to the potty, I stepped on my phone, and now I have no use of my screen. So I can get calls, but I can't see who I'm dialing when I make a call. I can hear that I have gotten a text or a voicemail, but I can not see them to read them. It's annoying to say the least. Because I can not see who is calling me, I have also been answering the phone for folks that I have been trying to avoid! I see now that I should have assigned them a special ringtone.
But on the other hand, I feel invigorated. I feel no pressure to keep in contact with folks. I couldn't see that call to return it or read that text to reply. True enough, when I saw I broke my phone, I cried. This is the first phone I have ever had that I really like. But there is something to be said about feeling like you can not be reached. Oddly enough, it's...comforting.

Examining the 90s Baby

Am I the only one that yearns for the good old days when the meanest thing another kid could do to you was talk about your Mama? You yell with your peer, get in a fight, get sent to the office, your Mama spanks you because she had to leave work early to come get you, and life went on.
Well, the 90s babies aren't about keepin' it simple...they are about keeping it gangsta! Beating each other to literal death and posting the videos on Youtube. Setting each other up for jail time and such. I have said it once and I will say it again: they are crazy!
But technology, technology has given them a new medium to be awful to each other. What am I talking about? Well, my sister comes home yesterday and tells me that some girl in her class took a picture of her in class and then took a picture of some other girl at another time, then took the pics home and photoshopped them so that it looked like my sister and this other girl were kissing. Then she posted this pic on her Facebook page.
WTF? Why would it even cross your mind to do something like that and furthermore, why does a 12-year-old have a Facebook page?!
I was bothered by this guys. And not just because it was weird and involved my sister, but because my sister thought that this was OK. Kids do things like this all the time apparently, and it could have been worse. The kids in her classes could have actually believed the obviously doctored pic, which would have been social suicide. This surprised me, seeing that this is the "I Kissed a Girl" generation.
I got made fun of a lot in school, and I can not imagine having to defend my sexuality as a preteen! I guess such things are commonplace for the poor misguided 90s baby.

Brotherly Love

On Friday my mom and I drove to pick my brother Cass up from college. I was all super excited! My brother and I are really close, and I get all geeked up when he comes home for holidays. He is closer to my age than my other two siblings, so we have deep discussions and watch racially charged stand-up comedy. I was not aware that I would miss him so much when he went away to college, and with the drama going on in my house of late, I could not wait for his return.
Sadly to say, he has been home for almost two days and all he has done is sit in his room and sext some chick he met online. He has knocked on my door occasionally, I'm guessing when random sext girl was taking a leak, seen what I was doing, then promptly ran back to his room when his phone jingled, alerted that he just got a message. On the bright side, we did watch that Bill Maher movie with me tonight, but he fell asleep.
My brother has always been a bit of a loner, and I guess I should be happy that he making friends, especially girls, but I feel all left out. Could talking on the phone with a girl really be more fun than watching Betty Davis SNL clips on Hulu with your big sis?
I guess so.
I really hope that his whole summer vacation isn't like this.