Distant Conversation

Last weekend my distant family came into town to celebrate my cousins' graduating from school; one from Vet school and another from undergrad.
As usual, scholars and alcohol are a recipe for deep discussion. The topic: the issue with Black dating. Now mind you when we say "Black dating" we really mean "Black women" because we are always the issue, right? To my surprise, I didn't pass out during the discussion. After my last convo on a similar topic, I told myself that I would die if I had to listen to educated Black men blame me for having to get an education because of their absence to support myself, like I wanted to get almost $100,000 worth of student loans!
Well, we touched on a lot of things, but what stands out in my mind is the idea of the leader. The brothas I spoke with, two of them not being relatives, talked about how they had visited Mississippi and LOVED how the women were submissive. But allow me to define submissive in their eyes: willing to follow them while they "lead." Call me a critical thinker, but that translated to me as "willing to do what they said." Listening to them talk about this rare breed of Southern women who make you grits without being asked and White women who "have your back," I could not help but wonder if my female ancestors knew they were breaking free from the plantation just for me to be expected to play Mammie to our men?!
But it seems that my idea of "Mammiedum" is their idea of being "held down" and of me "playing my position." Out of all that was said, I am sure about one thing: I am way too much of a Feminist for discussions of this magnitude.