Remember, tomorrow is World AIDS Day, so take advantage of this and find a local program doing free testing in your neighborhood. I plan on doing so thru AID Atlanta. Watch the AID Atlanta staff talk about why World AIDS Day is so important.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Brownie and the Will
So just now Brownie texted me a series of texts, wanting to know how I did my will. I just wrote one. Bigger question, why does he need to know? I hope he's not dying or sick or something. He is one of my best friends. I would really be horrible if he croaked.
The Cleansing
I have been in a mood lately where I want to clean things. I think that this is because my life just feels like a complete mess, and the only thing that I can clear up in it at this point is my bathroom and the food containers in my room. I just feel heavy, you know? Weighted down. And last night it crossed my mind that the ultimate clean up high would be my phone.
I have blogged about this before. It is impossible for me to get rid of numbers! I was looking through my phone today and saw names that I don't know anymore- numbers from folks who were in my college study groups. They have to go. But upon sitting here silently and reflecting to a Janelle Monae soundtrack, it dawned on me why I just can't delete: I will have to come to terms with being alone.
If I erase all the nobody numbers in my phone, I will only have like 20 numbers left, as opposed to 250. And yes, that 20 will be the people I love, but still. They are all busy and working and in school and being progressive- I kind of like holding on to my fantasy that 250 people I can't remember give a shit about me.
And yes, I know that this is unhealthy. These imaginary friends have to go. I just don't know if it will help me feel lighter or just more alone. That is left to be seen, but it's gotta be done. I will keep you posted.
I have blogged about this before. It is impossible for me to get rid of numbers! I was looking through my phone today and saw names that I don't know anymore- numbers from folks who were in my college study groups. They have to go. But upon sitting here silently and reflecting to a Janelle Monae soundtrack, it dawned on me why I just can't delete: I will have to come to terms with being alone.
If I erase all the nobody numbers in my phone, I will only have like 20 numbers left, as opposed to 250. And yes, that 20 will be the people I love, but still. They are all busy and working and in school and being progressive- I kind of like holding on to my fantasy that 250 people I can't remember give a shit about me.
And yes, I know that this is unhealthy. These imaginary friends have to go. I just don't know if it will help me feel lighter or just more alone. That is left to be seen, but it's gotta be done. I will keep you posted.
Today
Today I am feeling weird. I had a good sleep, but I feel a little sad. A little melancholy. I feel like I miss somebody, but I don't know who or why or what. I am a little disappointed in some of my recent decisions regarding my personal life, and simply beside my self due to what is my non-progressing career. Goal of the week: forgive myself for some of my un-pure thoughts and take active steps to not put myself in questionable situations; start taking more progressive steps to get where I want to be and stop allowing minor set backs to send me into a whirlwind depression. Not everything is going to go my way. Gotta keep my eyes on the prize. I feel like during the week, I am going to have to read this post more than once.
'Lique, K.T.'s newly lesbian lesbian girlfriend's advice on oral hygene
'Lique on steps pre-falacio: "Wash it. They'll love it. It's like washing a piece a fruit. You wouldn't put a piece of fruit in your mouth without washing it first."
Friday, November 26, 2010
Faux Pas
Ok, so the other day Faux Mega came over.
It has taken me a minute to blog about it because I really don't know what to say...or how I want to say it...
Look, I know that I said a while back that I was disconnecting...erasing his number and such. And I did...but I saved this text he sent me, extracted his number, and saved it again. PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME! Any way, he is the hottest dude I have ever dealt with, and I have been dying to get him back to my house. And not for a replay of the last visit, oddly enough, but to have a nice, G-Rated visit where we talked and got to know each other and all that sweet girly stuff.
Sigh.
Let me just say that I am a dumb ass.
He sent me two texts and after those two text, sent before he arrived at my door, I was still thinking that he really may want to get to know me and be my friend.
Text 1(sent after I said he could come over): Cool...u think you ready for this d*&k?
Text 2 (sent when he was in route): Hey! Just leavin...u ready to swallow this stick? Lol
Then, once he got here, he watched some sort of football thingy on his laptop and ate chicken from Popeyes, not offering to share! But all was forgiven because, in my room, was this gorgeous, chocolaty man!
The nails in the coffin? Well, I talked to him about his sexual history which, to say the least, is extensive. EXTENSIVE! When we first met, he told me he had a steady girlfriend in college. I found out on this latest visit that this was true...until she dumped him for religiously cheating on her!
But hey, the past is the past. I was willing to roll with it still, until he told me that he religiously has sex with the mothers of the little boys that he coaches on the peewee football team he volunteers with...WHAT?!
And yet still, that was OK, until he told me that he was quite serious about the texts he sent. This was bad because I have no intentions of blowing anyone...especially a guy who volunteers with at-risk youth just to do their moms! I felt like that was so trife, even though he is FINE!
So we didn't do anything, and he left here in what seemed to be annoyance.
Just to keep my last teaspoon of dignity, I am not going to tell you what I texted him when he left. But I will tell you that I cried the next morning because I felt stupid and was sad that what he wanted was all he wanted from me. I felt stupid for not getting the hint, when it was so clear, and for not telling him that I am a virgin. Maybe if I would have, he wouldn't have been so gross, but who knows if that is true or not.
Will I see him again? Probably not. And even after the clear disrespect and embarrassment, all I can say is that he is FINE!
Sigh.
It has taken me a minute to blog about it because I really don't know what to say...or how I want to say it...
Look, I know that I said a while back that I was disconnecting...erasing his number and such. And I did...but I saved this text he sent me, extracted his number, and saved it again. PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME! Any way, he is the hottest dude I have ever dealt with, and I have been dying to get him back to my house. And not for a replay of the last visit, oddly enough, but to have a nice, G-Rated visit where we talked and got to know each other and all that sweet girly stuff.
Sigh.
Let me just say that I am a dumb ass.
He sent me two texts and after those two text, sent before he arrived at my door, I was still thinking that he really may want to get to know me and be my friend.
Text 1(sent after I said he could come over): Cool...u think you ready for this d*&k?
Text 2 (sent when he was in route): Hey! Just leavin...u ready to swallow this stick? Lol
Then, once he got here, he watched some sort of football thingy on his laptop and ate chicken from Popeyes, not offering to share! But all was forgiven because, in my room, was this gorgeous, chocolaty man!
The nails in the coffin? Well, I talked to him about his sexual history which, to say the least, is extensive. EXTENSIVE! When we first met, he told me he had a steady girlfriend in college. I found out on this latest visit that this was true...until she dumped him for religiously cheating on her!
But hey, the past is the past. I was willing to roll with it still, until he told me that he religiously has sex with the mothers of the little boys that he coaches on the peewee football team he volunteers with...WHAT?!
And yet still, that was OK, until he told me that he was quite serious about the texts he sent. This was bad because I have no intentions of blowing anyone...especially a guy who volunteers with at-risk youth just to do their moms! I felt like that was so trife, even though he is FINE!
So we didn't do anything, and he left here in what seemed to be annoyance.
Just to keep my last teaspoon of dignity, I am not going to tell you what I texted him when he left. But I will tell you that I cried the next morning because I felt stupid and was sad that what he wanted was all he wanted from me. I felt stupid for not getting the hint, when it was so clear, and for not telling him that I am a virgin. Maybe if I would have, he wouldn't have been so gross, but who knows if that is true or not.
Will I see him again? Probably not. And even after the clear disrespect and embarrassment, all I can say is that he is FINE!
Sigh.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thanks Alot
So, it's Thanksgiving again, and I am going to eat with my family at my aunt's house.
The holidays are always uncomfy for me because I don't feel like my family has ever liked me. For the most part, this has always been the case. Now, for that extra pinch of uncomfy, my cousin has invited some of his college friends over. I HATE it when he does that, and I don't understand why he does. You can cut the weirdness when we are all together with a knife! I would never want to expose any of my friends to that.
How can I describe it? It just feels like somebody wants to say something or start something but is hesitant to do so. So we all sit around, sort of choosing our words wisely. Then, add couzo's college buds, and there is this feeling of everyone trying to be nice as to not embarrass my cousin.
Sigh.
One thing is for sure: I know the food is going to be good, even if the company isn't. I will let you know how this goes but I have to tell you, my expectations are NOT high.
The holidays are always uncomfy for me because I don't feel like my family has ever liked me. For the most part, this has always been the case. Now, for that extra pinch of uncomfy, my cousin has invited some of his college friends over. I HATE it when he does that, and I don't understand why he does. You can cut the weirdness when we are all together with a knife! I would never want to expose any of my friends to that.
How can I describe it? It just feels like somebody wants to say something or start something but is hesitant to do so. So we all sit around, sort of choosing our words wisely. Then, add couzo's college buds, and there is this feeling of everyone trying to be nice as to not embarrass my cousin.
Sigh.
One thing is for sure: I know the food is going to be good, even if the company isn't. I will let you know how this goes but I have to tell you, my expectations are NOT high.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Happy Bday
I'm cramping. I feel bloated, and I have a headache. It's that time of the month. Yesterday marked the one month countdown until my 26 birthday. I think I will need chocolate to get through this.
The other day Faux Mega came over here (which is another post entirely) and he said that he wants to be done with grad school by the summer. I wanted to claw his eyes out. I want to be done with grad school. May will mark 4 years that I have been out of school. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything! I could have gone to grad school twice by now!
The most horrible thing about it is that there is no one to blame but myself- dragging my feet because I enjoyed my job so much. But I am officially old as hell, or will be in a month, and I am having a hard time envisioning my future.
I wish I was 18 again, where my biggest issue was what senior I was going to have to pay to go get me a daiquiri. I want to crawl in a circle and stay there all day. The cramps are getting unbearable.
The other day Faux Mega came over here (which is another post entirely) and he said that he wants to be done with grad school by the summer. I wanted to claw his eyes out. I want to be done with grad school. May will mark 4 years that I have been out of school. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything! I could have gone to grad school twice by now!
The most horrible thing about it is that there is no one to blame but myself- dragging my feet because I enjoyed my job so much. But I am officially old as hell, or will be in a month, and I am having a hard time envisioning my future.
I wish I was 18 again, where my biggest issue was what senior I was going to have to pay to go get me a daiquiri. I want to crawl in a circle and stay there all day. The cramps are getting unbearable.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
I have come to a point where I feel like my own emotions and desires confuse me. They are unfamiliar to me, and they make me feel like a type of woman that I am not used to being and not sure that I want to be. And I want to talk about it but I don't feel like anyone would really understand the full extent of it, and I really don't want to say anything that will make me look and feel like more of an outsider amongst my friends. I also don't feel like anyone would care. I don't know. Today I feel really alone. Sigh.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Chris Brown - No Bullshit [Official Video] HipHollywood.com
I am so ashamed that I still think that Chris Brown is HOTTT after
the Rihanna fiasco...BUT HE IS!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Just Friends
So Boy I Went On Date With broke it to me, again, that he just wants to be friends.
Eye roll.
Now who is going to pay me attention and make-out with me? I have had a mere taste of male attention, and now I want it all the time.
He is nice and he is fun to talk to, and I guess we can be "friends." I want to be his friend. But at the same time, I CAN NOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF YET ANOTHER PLATONIC MALE FRIEND- yet another guy pal that I am attracted to that will call me for advice about what they should do about the girls that they actually want to be with. That was my role while I was in college, and I am trying to break out of that shell before I am that 50 year old single woman that is a "God mother" to all of her friends' kids because she never met anybody.
Eye roll.
Now who is going to pay me attention and make-out with me? I have had a mere taste of male attention, and now I want it all the time.
He is nice and he is fun to talk to, and I guess we can be "friends." I want to be his friend. But at the same time, I CAN NOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF YET ANOTHER PLATONIC MALE FRIEND- yet another guy pal that I am attracted to that will call me for advice about what they should do about the girls that they actually want to be with. That was my role while I was in college, and I am trying to break out of that shell before I am that 50 year old single woman that is a "God mother" to all of her friends' kids because she never met anybody.
Fear Itself
It has been brought to my attention that I may have illogical fears, which got me thinking of the things that I have been scared of just this week.
The other day Connie's cat either scratched or bit me while I was kicking him out of my room. I was convinced I had Rabies. Within two minutes of the incident, I was imagining myself becoming one of the I Am Legend zombies.
I break out during my period. I know, TMI. But I had a gross white head that busted on my face and I convinced myself it was Herp.
Cinnamon gave me a pain reliever for this miserable headache I had, but I didn't take it, even though it felt like elephants were tap dancing on my scalp, because I was scared it was Ecstasy.
Lately I have been forgetting things that used to come easy to me, like the names of TV shows and rappers, which has me scared that I have early onset Alzheimer's.
A recent interview I did with a breast cancer survivor had me afraid that I could have it and not know, seeing that she had it and didn't know until she went in for a physical.
Rightfully so, I am scared that I don't have a future.
I am scared of having a heart attack.
I am scared to sit on public toilets, even though I do it all the time.
I am scared to drink tap water, even though I can't afford to by bottled water.
Yes, I know how all this must sound, but in my mind, these are quite serious fears that I feel are based in facts. Perhaps this should be my New Year's resolution: letting go of fear. I say this but keep in mind, I can't imagine it happening. It scares me to think of how free I would be if my life were fear free.
The other day Connie's cat either scratched or bit me while I was kicking him out of my room. I was convinced I had Rabies. Within two minutes of the incident, I was imagining myself becoming one of the I Am Legend zombies.
I break out during my period. I know, TMI. But I had a gross white head that busted on my face and I convinced myself it was Herp.
Cinnamon gave me a pain reliever for this miserable headache I had, but I didn't take it, even though it felt like elephants were tap dancing on my scalp, because I was scared it was Ecstasy.
Lately I have been forgetting things that used to come easy to me, like the names of TV shows and rappers, which has me scared that I have early onset Alzheimer's.
A recent interview I did with a breast cancer survivor had me afraid that I could have it and not know, seeing that she had it and didn't know until she went in for a physical.
Rightfully so, I am scared that I don't have a future.
I am scared of having a heart attack.
I am scared to sit on public toilets, even though I do it all the time.
I am scared to drink tap water, even though I can't afford to by bottled water.
Yes, I know how all this must sound, but in my mind, these are quite serious fears that I feel are based in facts. Perhaps this should be my New Year's resolution: letting go of fear. I say this but keep in mind, I can't imagine it happening. It scares me to think of how free I would be if my life were fear free.
Power Struggle 2
I have a feeling that my power bill is going to be super high.
I wake up randomly, to get water or go to the bathroom or whatever, and I see lights on while everyone is asleep. I don't know how long they have been on or what! But what I do know is this: if that bill is crazy I will not pay it. My credit is already in the shits and I am the queen of doing this on principle. I have no problem with sitting in the dark and having to go to Borders to use the Internet to prove a point. What do I look like not having money to buy food because we use light like water? I have to tell you, I am not looking forward to getting this in the mail, but I am prepared to buy snacks for the month that don't need refrigeration if need be.
I wake up randomly, to get water or go to the bathroom or whatever, and I see lights on while everyone is asleep. I don't know how long they have been on or what! But what I do know is this: if that bill is crazy I will not pay it. My credit is already in the shits and I am the queen of doing this on principle. I have no problem with sitting in the dark and having to go to Borders to use the Internet to prove a point. What do I look like not having money to buy food because we use light like water? I have to tell you, I am not looking forward to getting this in the mail, but I am prepared to buy snacks for the month that don't need refrigeration if need be.
Holly Get Your Gun!
Ever since the incident when that random dude exposed himself to me when I was walking home form the drug store, I have been thinking about getting some type of weapon. For some reason, I keep thinking about a gun, a cute small one that can fit in my clutch bag with an ivory handle, but of course, I am broke and a klutz. I can't afford a hand gun, and if I could, I would probably shoot myself with it.
Connie has a knife she carries with her that looks like the kind you stab vampires with in movies. It is more pretty than anything. If some dude ran up on her, I can't picture her digging in her purse and being able to stab him before he put her in his trunk.
It would be really kick-ass if I knew some type of self defense, but I don't. I can't kick my foot up more than an inch off the ground, and I have terrible hand-eye coordination.
I am thinking that my best bet would be to get some pepper spray and hook it to my key chain. Hopefully I wouldn't spray myself, lol. It is sad that I even have to take these precautions, but the cool thing out of all this is taking a trip to the army supply store.
Connie has a knife she carries with her that looks like the kind you stab vampires with in movies. It is more pretty than anything. If some dude ran up on her, I can't picture her digging in her purse and being able to stab him before he put her in his trunk.
It would be really kick-ass if I knew some type of self defense, but I don't. I can't kick my foot up more than an inch off the ground, and I have terrible hand-eye coordination.
I am thinking that my best bet would be to get some pepper spray and hook it to my key chain. Hopefully I wouldn't spray myself, lol. It is sad that I even have to take these precautions, but the cool thing out of all this is taking a trip to the army supply store.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Mr. Jones
Today I was walking up to the drug store to get my Reese's Cups, looking a complete mess, dressed in a red summer dress (it's cold outside), a bulky brown sweater, NO BRA, and a do rag, when I looked to my right and saw my third grade teacher Mr. Jones! Before I could turn my head in hopes that he didn't see me looking terrible he goes, "Hey Holly!" And I am all, "Mr. Jones!"
I was soooo EMBARRASSED! I had a major crush on him when I was a kid. You just don't understand! He was my first male teacher, and he allowed us to have animals and rotten food in the class room. He made learning so fun, and he liked my writing:) He told my mom that he thought I would be the first female president. I'm just sayin'...
The last time I saw him was when I was in high school at the funeral of a classmate that had died unexpectedly. I looked nice that day, but I vowed that the next time I saw him, I would be FINE! Fast forward to today...blah...what a nightmare! However, he looked great. He has dreads now instead of a high top, but he looks about the same.
Just take a good look at Mr. Jones and tell me he's not a total hottie! It takes a special type of man to wear a silver blazer.
Let it be said here and now, the next time I see Mr. Jones, I am going to be FINE...finger crossed.
Hips Don't Lie
Today I caught my reflection in the mirror and almost screamed. My hips are spreading like butter!
I am not a nutritionist, but I am assuming it is because I don't have the money to buy real food so all I eat are Ramon noodles and candy. If I didn't know me and decided to judge me by my hips, I would assume that I had 12 kids already!
This is not good. I literally can not afford to gain anymore weight. But it s not easy, not having the cash to buy food that is worth a damn health wise. Today, for dinner, I had Reese's Cups!
I already know the solution. I have to get back in the gym, whether I want to or not. When I was going three times a week, I did not feel like I was losing anything. But I realize now that I was at least maintaining the weight I was at.
So off to the gym on Sunday and yes, I will be getting in the pool. Hopefully I can nip this hip business in the bud before it gets scary.
I am not a nutritionist, but I am assuming it is because I don't have the money to buy real food so all I eat are Ramon noodles and candy. If I didn't know me and decided to judge me by my hips, I would assume that I had 12 kids already!
This is not good. I literally can not afford to gain anymore weight. But it s not easy, not having the cash to buy food that is worth a damn health wise. Today, for dinner, I had Reese's Cups!
I already know the solution. I have to get back in the gym, whether I want to or not. When I was going three times a week, I did not feel like I was losing anything. But I realize now that I was at least maintaining the weight I was at.
So off to the gym on Sunday and yes, I will be getting in the pool. Hopefully I can nip this hip business in the bud before it gets scary.
Monday, November 15, 2010
OMG!
Just a few minutes ago I walked up to the drug store to get some snacks and this guy calls over for me to come to his car. So I shake my head and turn the corner and he pulls up next to me and he is like, "Let me get your number." And I am like, "Give me yours." And he says something about his phone being off, so I give him mine. Then he asks me if I need a ride home and I tell him I don't. So he says that he is going to stay parked and watch me walk away. At this point, I hightail it to across the street to see him turning around in the parking lot. I figure he is going home, but when I turn around again I see that he is parked, watching me walk.
So I keep walking and he pulls up next to me, JACKING HIS DICK, and he goes, "Do you like that?" And I blurt, "I'm going to call the police," and he drove off.
I really don't know what to say.
So I keep walking and he pulls up next to me, JACKING HIS DICK, and he goes, "Do you like that?" And I blurt, "I'm going to call the police," and he drove off.
I really don't know what to say.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Just One of Those Days
This morning I am pissed!
I feel ugly and fat and gross.
Those jeggings I ordered, the ones I was so excited about, DONT' FIT!
They simply will not go up my ass!
I love the material so much that I am now going to have to have them altered. I am going to have to have a pair of STRETCH jean pants altered! I feel like this is a fat girl first!
I have thighs like an X-Man!
My ass is too wide!
Guys, I am having a MAJOR girl moment right now. I spent my disposable on these! The only thing keeping me from crying is that it is too early for me to produce tears!
Somebody come get these jeggings out of my face!
I am over it...
I feel ugly and fat and gross.
Those jeggings I ordered, the ones I was so excited about, DONT' FIT!
They simply will not go up my ass!
I love the material so much that I am now going to have to have them altered. I am going to have to have a pair of STRETCH jean pants altered! I feel like this is a fat girl first!
I have thighs like an X-Man!
My ass is too wide!
Guys, I am having a MAJOR girl moment right now. I spent my disposable on these! The only thing keeping me from crying is that it is too early for me to produce tears!
Somebody come get these jeggings out of my face!
I am over it...
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Zara- L.A.
They don't have a Zara in Atlanta, so I took a peak. There was so much leopard print and fur that I felt like I was in the jungle! It was a dream! Sad part though, they tell me that they don't sell ear rings. How else is the chunky diva supposed to partake in cute clotes at a cheap price?Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Sleep Deprived
I can't sleep.
It is exactly 4:30 am in L.A. and I can not get to sleep. I am up, listening to bounce music on Youtube. In Atlanta, I would be awake already, making breakfast. But that is not why I can not sleep. I can't sleep because, as usual, I am being a hater.
Something really, really good just happened to my friend. Something good concerning her career. And, as usual, instead of being happy, I am pissed off and depressed.
Why? Well, it seems that people work half as hard as I do with their careers and they are taking off! I work for a place that I love, but they pay me so poorly that I may have to get a second job at like Wal-Mart or something just to pay my bills!
I am so annoyed.
But try to sleep I must do. I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow.
It is exactly 4:30 am in L.A. and I can not get to sleep. I am up, listening to bounce music on Youtube. In Atlanta, I would be awake already, making breakfast. But that is not why I can not sleep. I can't sleep because, as usual, I am being a hater.
Something really, really good just happened to my friend. Something good concerning her career. And, as usual, instead of being happy, I am pissed off and depressed.
Why? Well, it seems that people work half as hard as I do with their careers and they are taking off! I work for a place that I love, but they pay me so poorly that I may have to get a second job at like Wal-Mart or something just to pay my bills!
I am so annoyed.
But try to sleep I must do. I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow.
"People"
So the day before yesterday I invited boy I went on date with to come over for some light conversation and heavy making out.
Later, after he left, he texted me and wanted to know what I was doing and if I had finished packing. I told him that I hadn't even started because I was thinking of are day together...essentially. He called me immediately. I was like, "What's up?" And he was like, "Don't text me stuff like that because "people" go through my phone."
"People?"
OK, dude has an iPhone. I don't know a lot about technology, but I do know that he needs like a special code to go through it because I have tried and couldn't. Second, he is 23. Who is going through his phone? His Mama? If I couldn't get into it I know she couldn't. The only person I know who could get into his stuff is a girlfriend, so I asked him if he had one. I knew he had an ex, but silly Holly forgot to ask about the present.
"No, I don't have a girlfriend."
Silence.
"What, you don't believe me?"
"I believe you until you give me reason not to."
Lets say, just for kicks, that he is a boy and that he's lying. Would it be bad if I continued making out with him occasionally? I mean, I did ask and he said no. Isn't that really all I need to know? And yes, that's a bit tryf. I will admit, but it took time to find a good, clean guy to make out with! Yes, I am sure there is something fishy here. But I don't have plans of having sex with him. Does it even matter?
Later, after he left, he texted me and wanted to know what I was doing and if I had finished packing. I told him that I hadn't even started because I was thinking of are day together...essentially. He called me immediately. I was like, "What's up?" And he was like, "Don't text me stuff like that because "people" go through my phone."
"People?"
OK, dude has an iPhone. I don't know a lot about technology, but I do know that he needs like a special code to go through it because I have tried and couldn't. Second, he is 23. Who is going through his phone? His Mama? If I couldn't get into it I know she couldn't. The only person I know who could get into his stuff is a girlfriend, so I asked him if he had one. I knew he had an ex, but silly Holly forgot to ask about the present.
"No, I don't have a girlfriend."
Silence.
"What, you don't believe me?"
"I believe you until you give me reason not to."
Lets say, just for kicks, that he is a boy and that he's lying. Would it be bad if I continued making out with him occasionally? I mean, I did ask and he said no. Isn't that really all I need to know? And yes, that's a bit tryf. I will admit, but it took time to find a good, clean guy to make out with! Yes, I am sure there is something fishy here. But I don't have plans of having sex with him. Does it even matter?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Flight Fun
Thirty minutes into my flight today a man got up to got to the bathroom and then passed out on his way to his seat. I slept through the whole drama. An old lady had to tell me about it on the flight shuttle. Apparently the flight attendant got on the speaker and summoned a medical professional like they do in movies! They gave him some orange juice and that was that.
Then there was this weird lady that I first noticed when we were waiting for the flight. She was RELENTLESSLY picking at her chin hair! I thought she was going to make herself ble ed. Then, when we boarded, she went back and forth to the bathroom twice before we even took off!
Some kind of way, she got moved in front of me. Shereclined her seat on my legs, putting her wiry, gross hair in my face. Then, every time she got up to go potty or move to let Video Vixen go potty, she would step on my feet with the weight of ten men, even though she wasn't fat.
This lady with really bad legs or a bad back or knees or something got on the van. She had to be carried onto the van, and she was not a tiny lady. When some passengers tried to get off the van, she said she couldn't move, and asked if they could move past her. Then she let out a cry that made my blood run cold. She was clearly in pain. How did she even make it on the plane?
I wonder what will go down on the way home. There is always some craziness at LAX.
Then there was this weird lady that I first noticed when we were waiting for the flight. She was RELENTLESSLY picking at her chin hair! I thought she was going to make herself ble ed. Then, when we boarded, she went back and forth to the bathroom twice before we even took off!
Some kind of way, she got moved in front of me. Shereclined her seat on my legs, putting her wiry, gross hair in my face. Then, every time she got up to go potty or move to let Video Vixen go potty, she would step on my feet with the weight of ten men, even though she wasn't fat.
This lady with really bad legs or a bad back or knees or something got on the van. She had to be carried onto the van, and she was not a tiny lady. When some passengers tried to get off the van, she said she couldn't move, and asked if they could move past her. Then she let out a cry that made my blood run cold. She was clearly in pain. How did she even make it on the plane?
I wonder what will go down on the way home. There is always some craziness at LAX.
Video Vixen
Today on the plane to L.A. I sat behind this video girl.
Her hair was died this weird color blond that put me in mind of piss. She had on cute pants, and a cute top, a cute cap, and cute heels, but none of them matched. She rubbed me as one of those people that just like to throw name brands together, whether they go together or not, just because they are expensive.
I think she had to be about 30, which isn't old, but old for a video girl, like 28 is old for a model. She spent damn near the entire flight, from Atlanta to L.A. looking over her XXX rated photos, interchangeably making them her laptop's screen saver. I have, personally, never seen so many bikini pics and ass shots in my life, especially not from so close! Yikes.
Her hair was died this weird color blond that put me in mind of piss. She had on cute pants, and a cute top, a cute cap, and cute heels, but none of them matched. She rubbed me as one of those people that just like to throw name brands together, whether they go together or not, just because they are expensive.
I think she had to be about 30, which isn't old, but old for a video girl, like 28 is old for a model. She spent damn near the entire flight, from Atlanta to L.A. looking over her XXX rated photos, interchangeably making them her laptop's screen saver. I have, personally, never seen so many bikini pics and ass shots in my life, especially not from so close! Yikes.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Up in the Air
You guys know the routine. I am going out of town early next week and need your magical prayers. Nothing fancy, just the usual. No fat drama. A nice seat mate. An isle seat with an adjustable arm rest. And, with the recent plane drama that has been going on, a safe return there and back; a flight on an aircraft that is not housing cargo bombs or has a hole in it or a bum engine. Thanks guys, and I will tell you all about the trip!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Moooo!
I feel like a total cow. Just a matter of days before I am leaving town, and I feel like I am a ton!
I have been eating like crazy because I am horny and bored and hungry. Really, really hungry.
I don't want to sound like the stereotypical fatty here, but I am sooooo hungry all of the time! I have these cravings that will not go away, especially for sweets. If I do not cool it, not only are my hips going to be like 100 inches wide, but I am going to have zits all over my face!
So tomorrow, I am going to cleanse. I would start today, but I can't. My aunt has offered to take me to Popeye's and I can't turn that down. Any who, I am going to drink tea all day. I heard on TV that Janet Jackson only drinks tea and honey on Sunday's to get rid of access pounds. So, tomorrow I will kick it the JJ way until I stop feeling gross. I will let you know how it goes.
I have been eating like crazy because I am horny and bored and hungry. Really, really hungry.
I don't want to sound like the stereotypical fatty here, but I am sooooo hungry all of the time! I have these cravings that will not go away, especially for sweets. If I do not cool it, not only are my hips going to be like 100 inches wide, but I am going to have zits all over my face!
So tomorrow, I am going to cleanse. I would start today, but I can't. My aunt has offered to take me to Popeye's and I can't turn that down. Any who, I am going to drink tea all day. I heard on TV that Janet Jackson only drinks tea and honey on Sunday's to get rid of access pounds. So, tomorrow I will kick it the JJ way until I stop feeling gross. I will let you know how it goes.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
The Return of Gregory Hines
So, most of you should remember when I told you that there was something in our attic. The Orkin man came out and said that it was mice. So Connie, being the soldier that she is, went into the attic and laid some traps. So for a week, everything was everything.
But now it is worst.
I was just in the bathroom and it sounded like a bear was in the attic doing a step routine with a
Transformer! I literally ran from the bathroom to my room.
I. Am. Scared. I don't know what the Hell is up there! I can't even imagine what is up there. I am hoping that it's something harmless like a tap dancing homeless dude and not what I think it is, which is demons. I feel like I am in the plot of a scary movie and, if you've ever noticed, neither Black people nor fatties ever make it to the end of thrillers.
But now it is worst.
I was just in the bathroom and it sounded like a bear was in the attic doing a step routine with a
Transformer! I literally ran from the bathroom to my room.
I. Am. Scared. I don't know what the Hell is up there! I can't even imagine what is up there. I am hoping that it's something harmless like a tap dancing homeless dude and not what I think it is, which is demons. I feel like I am in the plot of a scary movie and, if you've ever noticed, neither Black people nor fatties ever make it to the end of thrillers.
Disposable Disposed Of
I just took the little bit of disposable income I have and spent it on some denim leggings. In the moment of heated passion in the threesome that was me, my computer screen, and my debit card, I convinced myself that I needed them. THAT I NEEDED DENIM LEGGINGS! My checkbook is disappointed in me, but really, the wardrobe options are endless! I don't regret the purchase, but I will not be enjoying the Ramen noodles I will be eating from now until this time next month.
Dear Boys
Dear Boys,
Listen, I know that you are busy doing absolutely nothing most of the time. And far be it for me to interrupt, but do me a fav OK babes: if we are sending each other a steady stream of texts back and forth, don't just stop abruptly. It's rude and it's whack and it's annoying because I'm thinking, Hey, did I say something to piss this dude off? When it reality, you are just getting high or taking a nap or just being a douche. So now my day is blown, contemplating a problem that may not even exist, sitting by my phone brain dead looking like an idiot, just for you to text me back right where we left off three days later like all is well. Texting is cool, so don't make it bad by being a tool. Thanks!
XOXOX With Annoyance,
Holly
Listen, I know that you are busy doing absolutely nothing most of the time. And far be it for me to interrupt, but do me a fav OK babes: if we are sending each other a steady stream of texts back and forth, don't just stop abruptly. It's rude and it's whack and it's annoying because I'm thinking, Hey, did I say something to piss this dude off? When it reality, you are just getting high or taking a nap or just being a douche. So now my day is blown, contemplating a problem that may not even exist, sitting by my phone brain dead looking like an idiot, just for you to text me back right where we left off three days later like all is well. Texting is cool, so don't make it bad by being a tool. Thanks!
XOXOX With Annoyance,
Holly
Gym Grim
I have been eating lately like food is going out of style, and, seeing that I am already....well...MORBIDLY OBESE, this may not be a good idea.
As many of you know, I recently moved, and I am in a pickle now because my old gym in nowhere close to my new house. The gym that is close to my house is a RENOWNED meet market for buff sexy people. It was hard enough for me to work out in front of the housewives and old people at my old gym. But something has to be done. I feel lazy and sluggish and gross. Plus, the gym is still zapping my membership fees out of my account on the 1st of the month like clockwork.
I know that I am just being lazy, but geez. I don't feel like getting on the bus, getting off, walking to the gym, working out, getting musty, getting back on the bus, and coming home. It just sounds like so much, sigh. But, evaluating my thighs, I think it is something that MUST be done. And if you knew how many pizza boxes have come across this room this month, you would agree.
As many of you know, I recently moved, and I am in a pickle now because my old gym in nowhere close to my new house. The gym that is close to my house is a RENOWNED meet market for buff sexy people. It was hard enough for me to work out in front of the housewives and old people at my old gym. But something has to be done. I feel lazy and sluggish and gross. Plus, the gym is still zapping my membership fees out of my account on the 1st of the month like clockwork.
I know that I am just being lazy, but geez. I don't feel like getting on the bus, getting off, walking to the gym, working out, getting musty, getting back on the bus, and coming home. It just sounds like so much, sigh. But, evaluating my thighs, I think it is something that MUST be done. And if you knew how many pizza boxes have come across this room this month, you would agree.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Pinkie's Purses
My roommate has a ridic amount of purses. These are not even half of them, just a couple of her personal favs. Thought I would share.
Metalic Michael Kors
Silver Guess
Black BCBG Girl
Brown Coach
Red Baker's Clutch
Pink Coach
Metalic Michael Kors
Silver Guess
Black BCBG Girl
Brown Coach
Red Baker's ClutchPink CoachBlack Gap Clutch
Brown Banana Republic
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Annoying Things You May Not Know You're Doing In The Voting Line
- Narrating your whole stay in the line via cellphone to whomever is on the other end. "This line is long man...I am almost there...No, it isn't too busy...Why are they moving so slow?"
- Reading a book or some other type of periodical in the line that you are so into that someone has to nudge you to move up.
- Complaining about the line length when there are people in line that have been there longer than you.
- Not having your ID out.
- Standing so close to the person in front of you that you are literally knee to butt.
- Taking as long as possible in the voting booth, determined to maintain your nomination for voter of the year.
- Showing up at the wrong location, then trying to bully the old lady volunteer into letting you vote.
Calling Off Batin'
So I have decided recently that I am going to stop masturbating. Wish I would have never learned. A friend told me that I was wasting my essence...whatever that means. But I didn't like the way that sounded. Apparently, I should be saving this "essence" for my husband. Sorry, didn't know. Since 12, shutter to think of how much essence I have wasted.
The consequences? Well, I have less energy, which I honestly didn't think was possible. I am hyped up right now on Minute Maid and Swiss Rolls. Out of 10, my motivation is at about a 3. To add insult to injury, I recently obtained the newest Trey Songz CD, which has had me in a horny induced stupor for the past 48 hours. I finally found the will power to turn it off, but I am now listening to Raymond v. Raymond, which may actually be worst. I. Want. To. Smash. Sorry guys. I know you all have had it with my consistant TMI. But seeing that I have called off 'batin', I don't have the energy to formulate a lie that may be easier for you all to swollow.
On top of this, boy I went on date with won't come over and hold me. He has to work or something bogus. I need human contact...that isn't me!
I am only a week or so in, but I get the feeling that this is going to be a very dark, exhausting, long journey. As usual, I promise to keep you posted.
The consequences? Well, I have less energy, which I honestly didn't think was possible. I am hyped up right now on Minute Maid and Swiss Rolls. Out of 10, my motivation is at about a 3. To add insult to injury, I recently obtained the newest Trey Songz CD, which has had me in a horny induced stupor for the past 48 hours. I finally found the will power to turn it off, but I am now listening to Raymond v. Raymond, which may actually be worst. I. Want. To. Smash. Sorry guys. I know you all have had it with my consistant TMI. But seeing that I have called off 'batin', I don't have the energy to formulate a lie that may be easier for you all to swollow.
On top of this, boy I went on date with won't come over and hold me. He has to work or something bogus. I need human contact...that isn't me!
I am only a week or so in, but I get the feeling that this is going to be a very dark, exhausting, long journey. As usual, I promise to keep you posted.
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