I have come to a point where I feel like my own emotions and desires confuse me. They are unfamiliar to me, and they make me feel like a type of woman that I am not used to being and not sure that I want to be. And I want to talk about it but I don't feel like anyone would really understand the full extent of it, and I really don't want to say anything that will make me look and feel like more of an outsider amongst my friends. I also don't feel like anyone would care. I don't know. Today I feel really alone. Sigh.