Yesterday I made the decision to go the gym. This decision ended in me waiting on the bus to go home while trying to hide the fact that I was having an anxiety attack. So here we go:
Since Friday, I had been sitting in my room, pigging out on discounted Halloween candy. By the time yesterday rolled around, I just felt icky and gross. I looked up the class schedule for my gym, and decided to go take a Zumba class.
First, let me just say that that move is COMPLETELY out of my character. But everyone said that Zumba was fun, and my aunt lives by it, so with the support of Fran and KT I took the train to the 7 pm class...which does not exist. Apparently, they chucked that time slot and didn't change it online. The 7pm class they were offering yesterday was Kickbox Cardio. Against my better judgment, I decided to take the class. And by take, I mean attempt to keep up for 5 minutes before I ran out of the class screaming.
I think the anxiety attack began when I noticed that the four petite Asian woman in front of me in the class, standing side by side, equaled to the same size as me. Then, during the class, they started jumping. I haven't jumped since grade school!
So I texted Fran for inspiration, and she told me to do 20 minutes on the treadmill. I did, but I felt like a loser next to the woman beside me. To stretch, I kid you not, she hit a split over the treadmill handle bars!
That 20 minutes on the treadmill felt like 2 hours, and I only burned 133 calories. I brought a yogurt as a snack and was so disappointed. The yogurt was 190 calories! I didn't even burn enough to burn off the calories of the yogurt.
By the time I left the locker room, where I'd sat for over an hour watching skinny, beautiful women prance around in thongs, my mind was filled with all types of negative thoughts. And by the time I reached the bus stop, I was crying, trying to control my breathing. Poor Fran. God bless her for trying to keep me level headed via texts all the way from New York.
By the time I got home I was so emotionally and physically toasted that I don't even remember getting into bed. Needless to say, I am on the fence about going back to the gym.
