The day after the Faux-Mega incident (the name I have given random nakey room boy) I lied flat on my bedroom floor RIDDLED with fear and remorse. I felt lonely and dumb. 25 years of virginity and I almost tossed my hymen to a man that I didn't love...not to mention know! My head was spinning. What if I had gotten some type of gross STD from this cat or something?
I feel that this is the perfect time to interject about my unrealistic fear of STDs. As a conspiracist, I have to say that I don't believe that they are only sexually transmitted. I believe that Herpes is randomly nesting on a toilet, waiting to pounce an innocent, bare jay-jay. AIDS is in our drinking water, and Chlamydia can also be contracted from walking barefoot. I say this to say, even though I didn't do much with Faux-Mega, I felt like I did enough to put my life at risk, especially when you consider the fact that you can contract Syphilis from sitting bare-assed on hotel room beds.
In tears and heavy with paranoia, I found myself Googling STD symptoms and testing centers. Just two days before this one I was crying because I felt so alone. Two days later I was crying because I was scared I could have made myself sick by being very horny and not being very smart.
This whole situation has got me to thinkin' about hoes. Hoes put themselves in questionable situations CONSISTENTLY! Does that mean that they feel the way I am feeling every day? Scared they caught something? Disappointed in themselves? That has to be unbearable!
It has been unbearable enough for me after my first little tango that I have declared my hoe days over. I am reformed, a hoe no more!
This little incident has also helped me to put some things into perspective. This whole year my whole focus has been boys. Boys. Boys. Now that I have had one, I am scared that I am going to die. Sad face. I will take being lonely over possibly being sick any day.
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