So I am menstrual right now. I know, I know, TMI, but I am. And I feel that because I am menstrual, my senses are heightened. Today, as I do when I am usually menstrual, I became aware of things that would usually go under my radar.
Today, when I was hangin' out in O'Hare airport, people watchin' and waiting to board my plane, I became vary aware of how...um...huge I am in comparison to EVERYONE around me: the old white lady, the little boy, the outrageously stylish Asian girls, the soldiers in the food court. It was so creepy, that for a second, I felt like I was about to have a panic attack.
What else did I become aware of: the way that strangers look at me. Mind you, I have been fat forever, so people have always stared at me. But it was a stare like, "Haha, that chick is fat." But now, it is more like, "OMG," with children, and "Gross," or "I feel sorry for you," with adults. Again, this could be menstrual me talking, but I felt like EVERYONE was staring at me. Especially on the small little rickety plane I was on coming home. At one point I seriously just wanted to fold myself up and tuck myself under the seat. My seat mate was a dick, looking at me like I had shit in my eye, and the men around me kept giving me mean side glances. I imagined that my head exploded and they each got an eye full of my brains.
Sigh.
I know I am being dramatic. But isn't that all a part of being menstrual?
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